


You are all I want

by remuslove777



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Best Friends, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Friendship, Jealous Sirius Black, Love, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Multi, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Remus Lupin, Unrequited Crush, Werewolf Remus Lupin, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-30 04:45:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14489109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remuslove777/pseuds/remuslove777
Summary: A story of the Marauders as I would have liked it to have happened......





	1. Meet the Lupins

**Author's Note:**

> This is my attempt at Wolfstar. If you haven't already guessed from my name and my first post I love Remus. I identify more with Sirius and its natural I am drawn to love Remus more :) But I do love James, Sirius and also Lily very much. this is not much in the way of canon here of course. I have been inspired some of the other stories of wolfstar to write my own. At this stage I don't know how I can make it different but I hope you guys like it!

The 11 year old kid clung tightly to his mum as he looked around the place he dreamt he would visit someday. He sealed his lips tightly together because he didn’t want to show how excited he was. But the twinkle his beautiful amber eyes could not be missed. 

His eyes were always a dead give away to his feelings though the kid had managed to perfect the art of hiding his emotions so early on his life. There was just something about the kid that was quite unique. He managed to retain the innocence of his age or even more innocent than an average 11 year old. Yet he also had the sereneness his disposition befitting a wise old man. Almost zen-like some would say.

The boy, called Remus Lupin, was the only child of a beautiful, short and sweet like a chocolate bar, Hope Lupin. And a kind, if slightly eccentric and extremely witty Lyall Lupin. Remus was much loved by them both. In fact, Remus had no doubt his parents loved to moon and back, quite literally as well as figuratively! You see, Remus Lupin, is a sweet, kind, witty kid who turns into a werewolf once a month and has been doing that ever since he got bitten at a tender age of five. 

Lyall and Hope have protected the kid so far from the wolf within him and the world outside as well that is determined to hate due to prejudice. So protective were they that when Remus received his Hogwarts letter, Lyall burnt it at once and absolutely refused to allow Remus to go there. Not because he was ashamed of his son, no, God No! But he wanted to protect his son from ridicule, from hatred and most importantly from the ministry who would be sure to find out. 

Whatever, Dumbledore had to say in this matter, despite the immense respect Lyall had for the man, his former Headmaster, he would not risk his son’s life and future by sending him to Hogwarts or to any other magical school. Dumbledore simply didn’t understand, Lyall reasoned. Though what possible future, Remus, his lovely Remus, could have in the muggle world, he wasn’t sure of either. 

Remus who had been stunned and then excited and happy like any other 11 year old also was wise to the risks it posed. But the excitement of going to the school he had heard and read so much about. The excitement of learning things his father had learnt and the excitement of meeting other wizards and witches was too much for even the normally poised Remus to contain. 

What worried his dada so strongly was not something he wanted to get excited about. So he went back to being the poised Remus who only allowed himself to show the disappointment in the lonely confines of his room. No, his dada was right, it would be foolish to assume that he could go to Hogwarts like a normal kid and make friends and have a normal life. 

He was, will have to be, happy with his muggle existence, his one or 2 muggle friends. He would get to stay at home with his parents who doted on him, would learn magic from his dada who was, Remus was sure, a better teacher than all the teachers at Hogwarts put together. 

So with these thoughts Remus had written off the hope of going to Hogwarts and avoided all attempts by Hope to discuss his feelings/disappointment. He was fine, he swore, ate Hope’s delicious and freshly baked chocolate brownies, fudge sticking to his long slender fingers. 

His eyes, those beautiful light amber eyes betrayed the emotions, Remus didn't know how to train them not to. Not yet. He would have to control them, it wouldn’t do to go about showing anyone the pain, loneliness, helplessness, fear. Not especially to his parents who had sacrificed so much for him. 

That night at dinner, he had sat at the table eating his dessert, like every other night, another excellent brownie, the chocolate sauce covering his pink lips, his amber eyes darker from sleep and his curly brown hair picking up some chocolate as well. Remus always ate chocolate with his whole being, literally. His mind, body and soul craved chocolate and Remus was sure, if the whole concept of soul mate was true, then he had already found his. 

Lyall, as always was watching his son from the corner of eye, his face overflowing with fondness for his son and a smile that showed his contentment. He was always content watching Remus happy and Remus was always happy when he was eating his brownie. Hope was making tea for Lyall and herself, when they heard a pop and out of thin air appeared a tall fatherly figure. 

He didn’t have the large belly or red clothes and it wasn’t christmas yet, so no it definitely wasn’t father christmas, thought Remus, whose sleepy eyes suddenly wide and sparkling with curiosity. Then the recognition hit him, of course this was, Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster at Hogwarts, the most widely respected and most powerful wizard in the world. 

Remus had wondered briefly what he might be doing here but knowing that Dumbledore was fond of his dad and also that he might have some ministry work with him, he quickly decided to make himself scarce. He knew after all that when adults discussed work, he shouldn’t interrupt. 

Lyall and Dumbledore had stood there looking at each other as as Lyall opened his mouth to say something, Dumbledore spoke quite abruptly, “Come Lyall, do be sensible. What use is it to hide him from the world he truly belongs to. If I am not much mistaken the boy has definitely inherited your brilliance and might I add Hope’s kindness. A formidable combination if I might add”. 

He paused as he looked again at Remus with fondness, sure of his assessment of the kid he was meeting for the first time. “Or is it that you don’t trust me to keep him safe?” he taunted again cutting Lyall’s retort short. The two men looked at each other for a few minutes, Lyall cleared his throat and said “Remus, please say goodnight to the headmaster, clean up and go to bed, my love”. 

As Remus moved into the kitchen to clean up, he saw his dad looking at Dumbledore beseeachingly. Dumbledore’s eyes became kinder still as he motioned for Lyall to sit and said “Lyall, I understand and am as you very well know, fully aware of the consequences. I have taken every precaution in the school to ensure Remus’s as well as other student’s safety. All teachers have been informed and they have all vowed to treat him like every other student and also guard his secret as their own.” 

As Lyall looked uncomfortably over to Remus listening intently to this conversation, Dumbledore motioned for Remus to join his dada on the couch. Remus looked at his dada, who gave him a defeated nod of approval, and nervously shifted and plopped down close to Lyall on the shabby canvas couch, Hope joining him on the other side.

Lyall was perplexed, “Why are you insisting on this Albus?”. Dumbledore smiled kindly at the three Lupin’s in front of him and said, “Hogwarts never has and never will make any biases. Remus would have had a place if not for the incident 6 years ago, and that incident changes nothing to my decision to give him that place”. 

He had gotten up, knowing that he had managed to convince his old student and added rather cryptically, “besides, I have a good feeling about this”. Lyall, who knew Albus’s ways very well, did not enquire the meaning of that. Dumbledore had turned again, and with a twinkle in his eyes, made a movement with his hand in the air and caught a chocolate frog out of no where and held it out to the boy. 

Remus had just gaped stupidly at the headmaster, whilst his mum smiled kindly at him and goaded him to take it but his dada stood there with a slight frown on his face and his jaw set but quite defeated. If Dumbledore insisted on it, Lyall would have to trust him and part with Remus to send him to Hogwarts. It was not that he was not happy about it, oh he was ecstatic, as any parent would be. But it was his dear Remus and he wasn’t like other kids after-all. 

As Remus reached for the chocolate the headmaster had looked straight into his eyes and Remus was certain he would never be able to hide anything from this man. And then with the same twinkling eyes and kind smile added, “oh, I do hope you like Chocolate! There is lots of it to enjoy at Hogsmeade” and winked. He then turned again to Lyall, and added “I will send the rest of the details of special arrangements made for Remus at Hogwarts soon” and with another pop had disappeared.

Remus had stood there with mouth wide open, gaping, as Lyall fell heavily on to the couch. Remus could not believe it nor understand it. His dada had not said yes but the headmaster was confident that Remus would be at Hogwarts. In fact, he had gone out of his way to make arrangements for him at the school. Remus was not stupid, he knew that meant the details of where and how his transformations at full moon were to take place. 

Remus hadn't dared to hope until Lyall had spoken. But Lyall had remained silent for the rest of the night. Remus had spent all night tossing and turning, with excitement and an anticipation that was frankly killing him. Why couldn’t his dada just say if he was truly going or not. After what seemed like hours Remus fell asleep and dreamt of a huge castle that night!

Remus had woken up that day and had gone down with much less anticipation than the night before. After all his dada would have said yes if he had in fact agreed to send him. He sat at the breakfast table, not daring to ask, not even daring to show his dad that he had slept scarcely, from excitement the previous night. He busied himself with porridge and honey, the exact color of his eyes now. 

Lyall was reading his daily morning dose of Prophet, the magical newspaper, Hope was making tea for Remus and an hour went by quietly. As they finished breakfast and Lyall his paper, he got up, smiled at Remus and said “Why don’t you go change, my Love? We need to take a trip to Diagon Alley to buy your books and things for school. We don’t have many days left now for 1st of September after all!” 

Remus thought he was still dreaming when he felt a sudden rush of warmth which he recognised as his mum’s. He looked up to see his mum, tears welling up in her beautiful green eyes. Lyall, now going into get ready himself, ruffled his son’s curly hair fondly, before giving them both a gentle nudge to get ready. Remus ran to his room so fast that he fell on his bed, face down, panting. He straightened himself up, with an ear splitting grin and he pulled over his favourite T-shirt and Denims. 

He skipped 2 stairs at once coming running down, a smile still plastered on his face that made his face look absolutely angelic. Remus could not believe his luck as he clinged to his mum’s hand with his hand taking his other arm and apparating to Diagon Alley.

Thus, with his eyes wide and lips tightly sealed and hands gripping his mum's tightly, Remus found himself in walking around in Diagon Alley. He spent a lot of time inside Flourish and Botts and had to be literally dragged out by his mum with the promise of stopping at Fortescue's Icecream parlour. Unsurprisingly he had 2 large scoops of chocolate ice-cream topped with chocolate chips and chocolate sauce. 

Lyall didn't necessarily have much money but he could never bring Remus to Diagon Alley and not buy him an ice-cream at Fortescue's, even if that meant he would himself starve at lunch for the next week. After buying his books and other items, they had money only for second hand robes, but Remus hardly minded. Who would, when you had had the best time of your life. 

Remus was also watching other kids around, a tall boy with close curls and a kind smile, slightly older than him animatedly chatting with some other boy about Quidditch. His attention then shifted to a hyper excited kid, with thick glasses and the craziest hair he had ever seen, bouncing around the 2 older kids listening to their conversation about the wizard sport Remus had heard about but not paid too much attention to. 

As he was making his way out with his parents, his attention briefly stopped at another dark haired boy, this boy's hair however flowed perfectly and this time Remus was embarrassed for himself! He noticed pain flit through the boys perfect but haughty features just as his dad apparated them out of the Diagon Alley. 

Remus had a few more days in which to eat as many of his mother's brownies as possibly could and read as many of the muggle books as he possibly could, reread Hogwarts A History and pack all his things into the second hand trunk. On the eve of the departure, Lyall and Hope came into Remus's room and sat next to him on his bed where he was just finishing his last muggle book from the library. 

Remus looked up, smiling beatifically at his parents, grateful to them for everything. His dada had already explained to him all the details of how he would be transforming. He had also explained to him the importance of ensuring that no one ever finds out and given him instructions after instructions. He had also told him a lot more stories of his own time at Hogwarts than he had ever before and he told him a few more that night. Then checking to see he had everything packed they each kissed him on his forehead and tucked him to bed. 

Morning of September 1st, the 2 proud but anxious parents took Remus to the station on to the crowded 93/4 platform. Lyall pulled him aside before letting him board the train and for one last time, gave him instructions after instructions. If the idea of not making friends, keeping to himself, tugged at his heart, Remus didn't show it. 

He would do what his dada asked him. He would keep to himself, not involve himself with anything, make himself scarce and focus on learning magic, make his dada, his mum proud and not give Albus Dumbledore a reason to drive him out. His mum hugged him one last time and kissed him several times on his cheeks which had now turned pink as he noticed a boy, the boy with the perfect hair, give him a haughty smile. 

He tore away from his mum and boarded the train and tried to find somewhere empty to sit where he could go unnoticed. Everywhere was full and as he was searching, the same boy from before was behind him, tutting impatiently for him to move and find a compartment. As he found a compartment with just one boy he moved in and to his annoyance, the haughty boy as he had now taken to calling him, followed suit. 

Remus stowed his trunk and found himself face to face with the boy with the unruly hair who was smiling at them, yes the haughty boy had stowed his own expensive trunk with golden locks, not smiling, grinning at them madly. 

Remus was not sure if this was going to work, not sure at all. But thank god, soon the 2 boys began talking animatedly and Remus was left to his thoughts.


	2. The Noble Black's Heir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Remus is the hero of my story, Sirius is the heroine :)
> 
> This is Sirius's intro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank you guys for the encouragement. I have never written anything before and I didn't think my work was very good and so I had decided not to post. But with your encouragement I am going to give it a shot.
> 
> Constructive criticisms and suggestions are very welcome.

The haughty boy, the heir to the Noble family of the great Blacks, was named after the brightest star, Sirius. However, not many knew the real star that lay beneath the shining Black family features the boy possessed. His perfectly chiselled bone structure, his perfectly long, wavy and smooth hair, not a strand out of place, his perfect aristocratic smile showing the neat set of teeth with its perfect sheen. Who could have doubted that the greatest heir to the Black family was anything but the perfect prodigy? 

If, however, eyes are the window to one's soul, then perhaps the boys perfectly dark eyes could have been the giveaway to others, at-least somewhat of the battle raging inside the boy. A glimpse of the constant battle of head vs heart that even at a tender age caused the boy immeasurable pain. It was his perfectly haughty smile, his defence mechanism that he had perfected, that shielded his own heart and soul from this world. From the world of Black, which was the only world to be honest, that Sirius had been exposed to. A world that always left a nagging feeling and that, a very intuitive but not worldly wise Sirius, could never fit into. 

Sirius had seen the golden boy, as he had taken to calling him now, on the platform being mollycoddled by his parents. Something had stirred within him at the sight of the boy then. But he didn't understand it. As he noticed the boy looking at him, he arranged his face to his default smile. He noticed the boy's amber eyes didn't seem to pleased at his smile and this bothered him but he decided to ignore it and move on. 

But yet again, he found himself following the golden boy into the train and into the compartment. He immediately relaxed upon seeing the other boy, the one with the unruly hair, as though it had wind, no a cyclone, underneath it never letting it settle down. And his smile turned into a grin and he felt a knot lift off his chest for the first time in many years. 

The 2 boys immediately started chatting about everything from Quidditch, summer holidays, to pure blood families, to Hogwarts houses. The slight change in expression on the unruly hair's boy face upon the mention of Black family was not lost on Sirius but the boy seemed to be able to go past it and even have a friendly dig at his future in Slytherin house. For a brief period the knot reappeared but as the conversation proceeded to their favourite sweets, things were back to normal just like that. 

Sirius wanted to turn around and look, no stare at the golden boy, who had been very quiet throughout the interaction. But and perhaps for the first and only time in a very long time, did sense prevail and he resisted. As he silently willed the golden boy to join in he realised he didn't even know his name. 

Just as he decided to open the conversation with the golden boy, a fourth boy entered the compartment and asked to join in. The boy with the unruly hair, welcomed him with a grin and an extended arm introduced himself as James Potter. He then turned wide eyes and said, "oops, I realise we never really did a proper round of introduction before. I am James Potter, future Quidditch Seeker and Captain for Gryffindor." He ended with a genuinely happy smile. 

No one could grudge his confidence even if it tinged on arrogance. The new entrant, staring open mouthed at James almost squeaked "I am Peter. Peter Pettigrew. My mum's a witch and my dad a muggle." James eyes immediately lit up "Muggles," he said excitedly "That is cool!". The boy seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at being accepted by this confident pure blood royalty. 

Sirius went next, "I am Sirius Black," and before he could say anything further, a squeaky voice, now even more high pitched and slightly quivering, exclaimed "Wow, the Black Family. My mother tells me how Rich and Famous and Noble you are". Sirius, not knowing how to react, simply arched an eyebrow. Peter was in awe, James seemed amused whilst Remus was irritated at the haughtiness of Sirius's expression.

As all eyes turned on him, Remus grew suddenly very conscious and pink tinges appeared on his cheeks. "I am Remus Lupin" He said and after a minute realised he was expected to say more, added "I am half and half. My dad's a wizard and my mum a muggle."

The boys settled in and ate sweets that James and Sirius bought truck loads of from the trolley witch. 

Sirius had unusually good instincts when it came to people. So far his first impressions had never been wrong. Even though he was only 11 (and a half!, he would always add). Wasn't he right about what a bitch (pardon his french) that girl was who got him into trouble with his mom lying about something he hadn't even done. Or was he wrong about the kind lady who gave him sweets when she saw a burn mark on his hand. Yes, Sirius had great instincts and he knew exactly how felt about the 3 kids with him right there. 

Sirius found himself liking James Potter. He had immediately relaxed in his presence. He did not like Peter, there was something very creepy about him. And Remus, well Remus was a different story. It was not like he liked him or did not like him. 

It was like, Remus was like a bright beautiful sunny morning which will unfold itself as the day goes on. Sirius was no poet. And he was not old enough to understand or put to words the feeling. An adult might describe it as a feeling of joy, of coming alive. That's how Sirius felt about Remus. 

As Sirius and James sat playing exploding snaps munching away on their sweets, the other 2 boys watched them, one with pure adoration and longing and the other with a mixture of amusement and weariness.


	3. James the Gryffindor, Peter the Obsequious and Lily the Fierce

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introduction of other important characters

As the Hogwarts Express rolled on, so did James Potter's tongue. He spoke at a rate of 10000 words per minute or that's what it seemed like to Remus. Remus's head was beginning to spin from the exploding snaps, the sweets and the words. 

A few more hours and then he would probably not be around these guys and won't have to listen to their non-stop prattle. every other word interspersed with something to do with Quidditch or the actual word itself. 

James thought it was funny that the four of them were all almost sure of which house they were going to be sorted into and each of them were going to be in a different house. 

James Potter of course was going to be in Gryffindor, the future captain and seeker of the house, did he mention? (like for the 100th time, Remus's eyes were behind his end!). 

Black, undoubtedly into the purest of pure houses, the Slytherin. Remus noticed a slight flicker of annoyance, or was it nervousness or even disgust - Remus wasn’t sur. And just like that the emotion disappeared as quickly as it came before Remus could study it further.

Peter was sure he was going into Hufflepuff. They would want him there surely, even if the other houses didn't, wouldn't they? James nodded assuringly at him, Remus just smiled politely whilst Sirius sat there looking haughty. 

Can he ever look anything but haughty, thought Remus. Does he ever do anything but smile politely, thought Sirius. 

Oh and of course, Remus would be in Ravenclaw. He didn't know why but that's what his dada had told him, so it must be true. 

Thus Remus thought he would bear the constant jabber and hyper energy of the 2 kids and unabashed ass licking of the 3rd for a few more hours. 

Sirius thought he would make the best use of these few hours to relax and enjoy in Potter's presence, ignore Peter and just feel Remus's presence for as long as possible.

Whilst Peter decided to spend the new few hours fan-girling over the royalties in his compartment. 

James however, was much too preoccupied with sweets, Quidditch and snaps to think of anything else as he bounced around being happy. James Potter was cocky, happy, arrogant, energetic but was respectful and brave. In other words, he could be considered the true descendent of Gryffindor. 

To Remus and to many others, well, almost to every one, James Potter has only 3 states of being - Happy, Happier, Happiest. James Potter, the only son of Fleamont and Euphemia Potter, was brought up in riches, quite pampered but well enough to respect others and being kind. In other words, a perfect childhood. The only thing that was probably a little less perfect in his life, well, far from, to be honest was his hair. 

But that couldn't be helped. The Potter genes had only 2 small glitches, as his grand dad Henry used to joke about - the hair that wouldn't stay and the eye's that needed the thickest spectacles. But what were the Potter's without that trademark. 

And James, like Sirius was the perfect heir to another pure blood family. However this pure blood family could not have been more different from the Noble Black's even if they tried!

Peter Pettigrew grew up in a household that was not lacking in essentials but was not exactly Royalty. Peter's mum, a witch had married a muggle and had 2 daughters and a son. 

She worked at the ministry of Magic and whilst her daughters were more muggles (it would be unfair to call them squibs) Peter had surprised everyone by receiving the Hogwarts Letter. Peter grew up in the shadows of his mum and sisters through out his life. 

He learnt very early on about the importance of purity of magical blood, about the power, fame and money this brought. Now he was witnessing it for the first time and he knew immediately how right his mum had been. 

One look at James and Sirius, he knew he had to shadow them, to bask in their glory, in their royalty. Remus, he seemed kind and polite, but Peter wasn’t sure how or what he might be useful for. 

For now, though, he could not believe his luck at opening the right compartment door to settle in. 

The train had reached Hogsmeade station. The first years, including the four boys gathered around and James was scuttling around as he knocked down a pretty looking red haired witch. A rather slimy looking thin young wizard immediately got into a fight, drawing his wand, startling James who was just about to apologise and help the young pretty with back to her feet. 

James, who was startled by the provocation but never the one to back off was ready to fight. The altercation was ended before it could begin however, by the arrival of a rather tall gigantic man with long grizzly hair and beard both to the same length. 

Remus smiled politely at the scene, Sirius looked on haughtily. But everyone was distracted by the arrival of the giant man. 

Lily Evans, the red haired witch pulled herself up with dignity, wiped off the dust from her skirt, whispered something to her thin, sallow faced friend and smiled at other kids around. The first thing that struck you when you saw her was her fiery red hair and pretty face. 

She had an equally fierce personality as well, one that didn't remain hidden for too long after the initial daze of the hair settled down. 

But it was her eyes that really showed her for who she was. She had the kind of eyes that sparkled. There was joy and happiness of youth but also serenity and wisdom in her eyes and her expressions. 

There was something altogether very calming about her, thought Remus as he caught her eye. They looked at each other for a brief moment before mirroring each other’s polite smile and looking away at the same time. 

If Lily had made up her mind about Remus being one of the best kind of boy she has ever met, it was probably even at the moment. If Lily knew Remus and she would go on to being great friends, it was probably even at that moment they exchanged smiles. 

Now Lily was not exactly biased, but she could at times be compared to the Muggle author Jane Austen’s most popular character, Elizabeth Bennet. And it seems she formed an opinion of James Potter much like Lizzy’s opinion of Darcy. When Remus would point this out later to her though she would refute. 

And as for her and Sirius. The exchange of smiles between her and Remus was not missed by Sirius, who for some reason and unbeknownst to him, was not exactly pleased by it. 

The same haughty expression descended very quickly on his face and he gave her a smirk rather than a full smile along with a glare that seemed to convey something that neither he nor she knew the import of.


	4. The Hat's Gone Bonkers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorting, weird assortment of Gryffindors and the challenges

The first years were led by the tall, really gigantic man and they sat in boats in groups of four. It was freezing and as the boys huddled in the boat, Remus dug his hands deep into his robes. 

Sirius sat facing opposite him taking no notice of James Potter's ramblings. For his attention was on Remus who tugged his head and tried to bury his pink face into his scarf, bitting down on his lower lip to bear the cold. 

Not until they reached Hogwarts did Remus look up or Sirius look away. The beautiful castle with its majestic towers, stone tiled tall walls, grey slanted roof tops and large beautiful window panes. The place was altogether, well, magical, thought Remus and chuckled.

The shivering, some from cold, some from nerves, first years entered and were filed in a line. Shortly they were met with by a stiff, elderly and severe looking witch. She gave them a short speech about some rules and introduced them to the concept of the Hogwarts houses. 

They were then led to the great Hall which left every young 11 year old in the room spell bound. "The ceiling has been bewitched to look like sky, Isn't it beautiful?" whispered Lily to a girl next to her. 

The first years were then called to be sorted. 

Amanda Banks, the girl next to Lily was sorted first, the hat taking its time before finally placing her in Hufflepuff. Sirius Black’s turn came soon after. No sooner had the hat descended on his head, it started laughing uproariously.

Sirius, who wasn’t sure what the joke was sat there embarrassed, perplexed and nervous. None of these 3 were feelings that sat well with the boy who liked to put on a brave front at all times. He was not sure he was actually having a conversation with the hat, but the hat certainly seemed to think so. It taunted and whispered and laughed some more 

And then suddenly, “Oh yes, A Gryffindor!" screamed the hat. Sirius sat frozen for what seemed eternity before groaning “you can’t be serious!”. That only caused the hat to get into an even more hysterically laughter that only stopped when placed on the next in line.

On the way to the table with the Red and Yellow, Sirius was painfully aware of all the eyes from the green table, even though he kept his eyes down all the way. He thought back to what the hat had whispered just before loudly declaring him a Gryffindor, “Even Gryffindor himself couldn’t be more Gryffindor than you! But you have to work to keep your Slytherin in check”. 

With this in his mind he fell into a seat next to a genial looking cropped hair 4th year Gryffindor and took his face in his hands. His attention then went back to the sorting and it was the turn of Lily Evans now. She too was put into Gryffindor, rather quickly this time. She took her seat opposite to where Black was next to Banks. 

James raised his eyebrows in surprise at Lily who was looking very pleased indeed. So far James was left completely surprised at the turn of events. First Sirius, now Lily. What was going to come next? 

A few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaw's later came Remus Lupin’s turn. As he took his seat on the chair with the hat dropping deep down on his face, Sirius briefly entertained the idea of Remus being also in Gryffindor. If he could be put in Gryffindor, any could right? 

But Remus had been sure…so had he and the entire Black family, generation after generation…and “Gryffindor!” he heard the hat. Sirius was snapped out of his reverie and he wondered for a brief moment, if he detected a sense of respect and admiration in the hat's tone in declaring Remus. The hat either could sense the deepest desires or was totally crazy, of that Sirius was sure of.

Remus emerged from the hat, surprised and perplexed but not displeased and went and sat next to Sirius. Remus had seen the guy seem completely deflated earlier so he gave him a reassuring, kind smile. 

The smile he got back in return was the first real one that Remus had seen from him. Remus then looked up to see Lily smiling widely at him and returned the enthusiastic smile.

I think Sirius and James snapped finally at the point when Peter was placed also in Gryffindor. The boy looked like he was about to faint. He hadn’t even dared dreamed of this outcome. Hogwarts might actually be good for him, he said, as he sank in next to Remus and was received with the familiar polite smile. 

For a brief moment before he was called, James Potter wondered if the hat had decided to play a prank today and in keeping with that put him in Slytherin or Hufflepuff perhaps? Similar thoughts seem to be going through Sirius’s head as he looked up in anticipation when James was called. But as soon as the hat touched the Potter boy's head, it bellowed, "Gryffindor”. 

Alright, it wasn’t a prank then. That meant all the sorting before was in fact intentional. Even James had to admit the evening so far couldn’t have been stranger. But he nevertheless bounded over to the table and plopped in between Sirius and Remus. 

Sirius, knew he would have hell to pay for this. He, the perfect heir, had taken the first step towards imperfection. And imperfection, especially one such as this, was the worst kind of crime in Black family. 

Not that anyone else had managed this feat, so technically he didn’t know exactly what the outcome would be. But he had enough sense to know it wouldn’t exactly be pleasant. But for now he will enjoy the presence of the 2 lads next to him, that’s all that mattered in the moment. 

Remus groaned as the realisation dawned on him that he would now have to share the dorm with the loud energy balls. He would spend as little time in the dorm, there was huge library, he had read all about it. Plenty to places to find solitude. And whenever he had to meet the boys, he would be polite but distant. Surely if he kept to himself and spoke but little they would get bored and leave him alone, he reasoned. Yes, that plan would work. 

Remus was smart enough to be in Ravenclaw, there was no doubting that. But he could be really dumb sometimes, as was evident by the fact that he thought the above plan would work with James, and especially Sirius. 

That’s not why the hat had not put him Ravenclaw. It had not seen a boy who could endure his plight with so much bravery and yet effuse so much kindness and empathy. 

The grand feast finished, the boys were too full to be think of anything. Even Sirius and Remus, who had their own things to worry about. Sirius on how to deal with his family, and Remus with his monthly problems and how to hide them from his dorm mates and generally stay out of their way.


	5. Chapter 5: Year One Gets off to a Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Lily continue with their common interest - Remus

The first morning Remus woke up really early and quickly went about his morning ablutions before others could wake up. He had done the same the previous night and tightly shut his curtains and fallen asleep. 

Sirius who had taken the bed to his left had tried to catch his attention a few times the night before. But Remus had politely managed to evade all such attempts much to Sirius’s surprise and intrigue. 

Remus went to the hall for breakfast, expecting it to be mostly empty which it was. But his expectation of being left alone was not going to be met. He was greeted in the hall by a wide smile, flying red hair on the head of a very happy looking Lily. Her happiness only seemed to increase as she set her eyes on Remus.

They both sat, chatting politely about their favourite hobby they discovered they had in common. Reading. Reading muggle literature. So engrossed were they in their discussion that they didn’t notice Sirius and James walking in. 

James looked mildly surprised at the scene and Sirius looked shocked, then annoyed before rearranging expression to what he thought was disinterest. It stung a little that the golden boy refused to make any conversation with him, err them, last night but was so deeply engrossed with the Evans girl. 

The day went by smoothly, the first years getting introduced to their classes and time tables slowly. They shared some of their classes such as herbology with Hufflepuffs, Astronomy and history of magic with Ravenclaws and the others with Slytherins. 

The day was mostly uneventful and completely predictable. The main feature was the look of sheer disgust that Snape kept throwing Remus’s way. Whether Remus noticed and ignored those or simply failed to notice them is unknown.

But Sirius definitely was not impressed and made a mental note to keep a watch on it. Something was creepy about the Snape bloke and Remus was entirely too naive or angelic to notice. So Sirius would have to do it for him. That’s what friends are for right? 

When exactly had they become friends, Sirius was not sure. I mean James and he had declared loudly and proudly at lunch on the very first day that they were indeed best of mates now. Peter, well, followed them around the whole day, in classes, in between classes, at lunch, at dinner, in the dorm and in the common room. 

But Remus, he had barely spoken a few words to them during the entire day. He had spent most of the day keeping to himself or with Lily. And a few times James and Sirius had spotted him, trying to get his attention and get him to join. He had looked away politely before they could catch-up with him or equally politely declined their offer to join them when they did manage to catch-up with him. 

The next few days passed pretty much like this and just like that the very first full moon was upon them. Remus was feeling particularly moody and nervous for his very first transformation. He had snapped earlier at Sirius about something or the other, he couldn’t remember what. He had then snapped at Peter and promptly followed it with snapping at Lily. 

Professor Mcgonaggal, the head of house for Gryffindor, had invited him over to tea the previous evening. She had abandoned her usual strict demeanour and had kindly explained to Remus about the arrangements for transformation. He was to go see Madam Pompfrey at the hospital wing in the morning for a general check up. 

He would then be accompanied by Madam Pompfrey to the Whomping willow which would lead him to the shrieking shack, where he would transform and spend the night (as a werewolf, even a witch made of stern a shell as Mcgonaggal hadn’t dared to add). He would be collected in the wee hours of the morning by Madam Pompfrey before the school woke up and taken to the hospital. 

Remus had taken it all in with such an immensely resolute attitude that had made Mcgonaggal remark how proud she was to have him in Gryffindor. The now too familiar polite smile with a gentle ‘Thanks’ was all Remus could manage then. 

Was Mcgonaggal taking every opportunity to look at Remus that day? Remus wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not. He went to Madam Pompfrey, who fussed and checked him over and over again. Had Remus been any one else, he probably would have snapped at her as well. But as it is, he was used to being fussed over by Hope and bear it with enormous gratitude. So he kept the polite smile up. 

How Remus got through the day, he barely remembers. It was evening and he went out to meet Madam Pompfrey. He was surprised to find Professor Mcgonaggal there with her. He however was too tired to wonder or ask why she was there too and why she kept walking with them to the willow. Both the women stood at the entrance and let him get through the entrance. Not before Madam Pompfrey fussing over him and Professor Mcgonaggal looking like she was going to burst! 

There was no one there that night or on any other nights before had there been any one to witness the unbearable sight of the transformation. Had there been anyone, could they have borne to see the gentle and naive young boy being torn by the wolf and who came out ferociously on the nights when the moon hung pregnantly full covering the sky and making it glow beautifully. 

Next morning as promised Madam Pompfrey was there to collect him and he was a little less surprised this time to see the professor with her. He was taken to the hospital and being tended to. The scars would stay, he knew. He was given pain killing draughts and was knocked out on the sleeping draught. Else he would have heard the 2 women lament over his lot, in a way only 2 deeply caring women such as themselves could. 

When he woke up, an even bigger surprise awaited him. Dumbledore himself was standing in front of him, assessing him. As he opened his eyes he heard the headmaster say to him, “Welcome back, Remus. I hope Madam Pompfrey is making sure you are not missing Hope’s warmth when you most need it too much.” Remus was too shocked. His dada had always told him how cruel the world was. But he had met with nothing but kindness so far. Engrossed in his thoughts he hadn’t even answered the headmaster, who didn’t seem to take slight. He looked at Remus for a little longer, assessing him rather like a jeweller would assess a precious stone before smiling at him, wishing him speedy recovery. He started to move, turned back once, handed over a chocolate frog to Remus and said, “Oh, I really do hope you have stomach for chocolate this afternoon Remus.” winked and left. 

Remus got back to the dorm later that afternoon. He had been patched up pretty well by Madam Pompfrey but was still weak and scarred in a few places. He had been trained by the matron and his head of house to come up with different excuses each month. This month, you could simply say you were ill and leave it at that. That’s exactly what he did, when Sirius came rushing in and demanded to know where he was since last night. 

He had to lie again when a few others had asked. But Lily and Sirius, both seemed altogether too persistent about knowing the details. And Remus had neither the mood nor the strength to fight them. More snapping ensued but that did the trick. For this month. He would worry about next month later. 

This was not going to be as simple as he thought initially. He had to find a way to avoid the interfering Sirius and the over-friendly Lily.


	6. The term Rolls on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is confusing Remus. Lily and Sirius are pissing each other off. If only they knew their interests were more aligned than they could have imagined.

By the time the first Halloween arrived, James and Sirius had made names for themselves as the most prolific prankster duo ever. Hate them or love them, you couldn’t ignore them. Peter continued to follow them around. And Remus continued to avoid them.

Halloween was a grand affair at Hogwarts. The great hall was transformed so it was filled with pumpkin lanterns and thousand of floating candles. The assortment of sweets, pastries and pies that night for dinner had not a match anywhere in the magical or non magical world. 

Remus who had just finished his transformation a few days earlier was in much better health. He also was more cheerful than he had been closer to the moon. It was then that the cacophony started when all the pumpkins burst throwing orange slush all over the students and staff. 

Remus and Lily just rolled their eyes, as Remus muttered at the juvenile idiots who lacked the sophistication needed even to carry out pranks. Sirius stood grinning from ear to ear not even bothering to pretend that he had nothing to do with the prank. An exasperated Professor Mcgonaggal decided to let this pass with a simple glare, probably in the spirit of Halloween.

He approached Remus and Lily where they stood covered in slush. Lily, who had finished cleaning herself rather quickly made to help remove the slush from Remus’s robes. But before she could, Remus noticed Sirius move his wand and mutter something. In an instant a pumpkin exploded rather explosively over Lily’s head covering her in slush again. 

He pointed his wand at Remus who ducked and didn’t hear Sirius mutter ’scourgify’. He looked up wide eye-eyed and surprised to see the sludge gone instead of having more pumpkins exploding on him. Before he could say anything however, a series of events happened in quick succession. 

Snape, who was moving towards Lily, flew off his handle at Sirius’s behaviour towards Lily. Most Slytherins and some Gryffindors were laughing at the sight of Lily. James seemed to have tackled Snape who was aiming a spell at Sirius. A few other Slytherins had joined in and Sirius and James took them all, just 2 of them against 5 Slytherins. 

Lily and Remus stood stood watching the scene - Lily pissed off with Sirius and James, Remus looking quite startled both at Sirius’s act and their ability to produce those not so easy charms so effortlessly. 

Sirius leaned in quite close and removed a piece of slush from Remus’s golden curl so tenderly and so suddenly that Remus seemed to have frozen in the moment. Remus had never been more confused in his entire life. But just like that Sirius’s haughty smile reappeared and things went back to normal. 

Months rolled on. Sirius and James continued their pranking ways. Remus continued to stick to being perfect student, spending most of his time in the library, writing the perfect essays. And Sirius continued to keep his attention at all times on Remus. If he hadn’t, he wouldn’t be wondering what was up with Remus. 

Where did Remus go every month? How can one person fall sick this often and then recover so quickly only to fall sick again? One month he had a headache. One month he came back with a broken arm, apparently having fallen down the stairs. And another month he had fallen sick again, this time something to do with the stomach. 

Remus was relieved to find that people easily bought his excuses. Pompfrey took care of him and Mcgonaggal helped him sometimes with excuses. All things considering, things were going well. 

As christmas was approaching, Remus was feeling much better, much more confident about staying at Hogwarts and actually believing Dumbledore that things could work out after all. If he had known that Sirius and Lily, quite individually, were convinced that there was something else behind this monthly sickness related disappearances, Remus might have felt differently. 

Lily and Sirius had both caught on that whatever it was, Remus did not want to make it known. They were nothing if not kind yet curious, so whilst they stopped badgering Remus about it, they hadn’t given up on trying to figure out a way to find out what was going on. But that had to wait after christmas.

Everyone, but Sirius, was excited to be back home. And the only person who knew how much Sirius was dreading going home was James. As they bid goodbyes at Hogwarts, Sirius’s heart sank. Now that he knew the pleasure of being at Hogwarts, with James, being around (more like staring at!) Remus, it was all the more painful going back to his horrible family. Only the thought of seeing both of them in 15 days kept him going.


	7. Term ends but they can't wait to be back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xmas gifts and end of term. Its been a good first year for everyone

On the first day back from Xmas, at breakfast, Lily handed Remus a smartly wrapped xmas present, the newly released The Girl who Drank the Moon. Remus grimaced as he read the title but immediately rearranged his expressions when he saw Lily’s expectant look.   
He thanked her and apologised for not buying her anything. 

Lily blushed as she told him she would be happy to accept a smile from him as the best Xmas gift. That made Remus blush slightly. And Sirius scowl heavily, as he watched the exchange. He plopped down next to Remus and pulled out a not so neatly wrapped gift himself and placed it in front of Remus. 

Remus was far too surprised and embarrassed to be able to say anything. He had not got his friends any present and he was about to argue when he was plied with more gifts from James and Peter. Remus made a mental note to at least buy them chocolates next time, even if it meant he wouldn’t have any savings left. 

By the time he mumbled a thanks Sirius was half way out of the great hall with a toast in his hand. James and Peter who were pretty pleased with themselves were left confused with Sirius’s rather abrupt departure. 

Remus opened the gift and could not help the smile as the biggest stash of chocolates lay in front of him. This is going to last him till the end of the term even if he was a glutton, which he totally wasn’t. Ok, maybe a little. But the day had started really well and Remus was glad to be back despite the many moons to come. 

The rest of the first month back was rather uneventful. It was biting cold. Things in gryffindor common room were as normal as can be expected. That is to say, everyone was having a good time. James and Sirius were pranking away, sometimes successfully and sometimes not. Which meant they spent most of their time in detention. 

Remus continued to devote his time in the library and hanging out with Lily. He continued to keep his distance from others, but he was a little more open to having small talks in between classes or at breakfast. 

They followed the usual protocol during the moons. To Remus’s continued great surprise, no one suspected a thing. But then no one paid attention or cared that much to observe him. But  
Remus would take that any day, if it meant he could stay in Hogwarts forever and learn magic and have a great time. 

Remus had had a great year but he was glad to be going home for the summer break. He missed his parents, his mom’s chocolate cakes, his dad’s wit and everything that was home. He wanted to tell them how much he had learnt and show them how happy he was. For he knew that would make them really happy. He couldn’t wait to leave but he also couldn’t wait to come back.

Sirius had had a great year to. He had literally found his brother, his confidant, his ally, his everything, James. He had also found an interesting, well, interest. He didn’t know how to describe what Remus was. He wasn’t exactly a friend so for now he would just label him an interesting puzzle to solve. Yes, that’s what he was. A puzzle that made him go warm a lot of the times. But he would have to be away from James and Remus for a while and go back to his horrid family. He could totally do it, well, its not like he had a choice! But he couldn’t wait to come back!

James had also had a good year. His first year at Hogwarts went pretty much as he had hoped to. He had made a great friend, well, to be honest, more than a friend. A brother. He had a bunch of admirers, party led by Peter. He had impressed everyone with his magic and topped most of the classes except Potion and DADA which belonged to Sirius, his brother. And he had caused a lot of trouble. Now he could go back, cause some chaos at home, trouble his mom, get spoilt. But well, he couldn't wait to come back for more and for Sirius!

Lily had her own thoughts to. She loved Hogwarts and couldn’t wait to tell her parents and her sister about it. She would also have Snape to talk about what to expect in their second year, do some reading and talk about magic stuff. She would write to Remus, who she would definitely miss. She couldn’t wait to come back!


	8. Year 2 Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Year 2 starts, the foundation for friendship is being laid more deeply and strongly.

The summer holidays were coming to an end far too quickly, thought Remus. He had had a blast, spending lot of time with his mum and dad, regaling them with stories about Hogwarts. His mum was over the moon (irony not lost on her!) about Remus’s friend Lily and at how much he was enjoying his time at Hogwarts. Lily had written to him a few times over the holidays and that thrilled Hope to no end. Hope’s non stop gushing made Remus blush slightly which only made him more adorable and made Hope gush further. The sweet boy deserved this much and more happiness and she was glad he was getting it. 

Remus’s dad was also very happy but he was as usual also prone to worrying. After all there were 6 more years to go and so much was at stake. He worried even more now, seeing that Remus had had a taste of what a normal wizard’s life was like. If for some reason it were all to end, it would make the loss of ‘normalcy' that much more painful. But he kept those thoughts to himself, not wanting to spoil his beautiful boy’s happiness.

In some place else, Lily was having a difficult time with her sister Petunia and the only thing she looked forward to was writing to Remus and waiting for his reply. Remus’s handwriting was very much like him, shy, slender and beautiful in a way one can’t really describe, thought Lily and blushed at the thought. But her spirits were really high when she received those letters, making her jump with joy, beam and smile and skip around. Severus watched this Lily, not knowing whose letters they were, happy to see her so happy but not happy that it wasn’t him that was making her so. 

James Potter was causing chaos, eating lots and lots of pies and cakes and flying and running around like a crazed chicken. That is to say he was having a normal holiday. He was excited her was going to be on the Quidditch team and he had written to Sirius several times a week. Most of those letters were about Quidditch and trying to make Sirius see why he should join the team. 

Sirius Black on the other hand had had the worst holiday. His parents spent most of the time that they didn’t spend punishing him, ignoring him. He wasn’t allowed to talk to his brother Regulus either. No Gryffindor was their son and no Gryffindor could be allowed to talk to the future Heir Black, they let Sirius know in no uncertain terms. Sirius spent most of his time moping around and trying to get his brother to see reason. But Regulus was too much of a chicken and though he wanted to play and talk to his brother whom he adored, he didn’t want to get both of them into trouble, so stayed away. Sirius’s only respite was the letters from Potter, which his parents were not happy about but let be for the time being. 

And just like that September 1st arrived and the Kings cross station was filled with people in weird costumes and kids carrying strange animals in cages. But it was London and no one stopped to think or wonder what this was about. Remus looked around the platform, smiling at the first years who looked nervous like he had done only a year ago. His eyes caught sight of a sullen looking Sirius Black with a house elf. Sirius was looking around seeing other kids’ parents fussing over them with a strange glazed look. Remus didn’t know what or why but the sight of the boy like that made him feel sorry for the boy but also a strange affection for him. 

Hope Lupin hugged her little boy and cried much like last year and gave many instructions to take care of himself. Just then a pretty red head girl came running to Remus and said a polite hello. Hope beamed as she instantly recognised the girl to be Lily. Making some polite conversation with her parents, both sets of parents helped the kid board the train. 

Remus was just about to go into a compartment with Lily, when he was suddenly grabbed by strong pair of hands that belonged to James Potter. A bit taken a back, Remus stared at him but relaxed immediately as he saw the usual James Potter grin. James had already started dragging him to another compartment, leaving a very miffed Lily gaping at them. Remus just shrugged in way of apology and let himself be dragged on and listened to James Potter rattle on, with a fondness he didn’t realise he had for the guy. 

They soon found the compartment in which Sirius and Peter had already settled. Sirius who was still looking sad instantly cheered up as he looked up to see James and Remus walk in. It was that instance Sirius knew that these were the 2 most important people in his life. He already knew it in Year 1 but now he just knew and felt in every fibre of his being.

The 4 boys spent the rest of the train journey exchanging holiday stories and eating lots of chocolates and laughing and playing. Unbeknownst to each other, the 4 boys were also individually scanning each other and forming their own impressions. James was busy thinking of ways to cheer Sirius up and making his time at Hogwarts the best he could to make him forget about his horrid family, who, he knew were more horrid than Sirius let out. 

Sirius was as always busy staring at the enigmatic Remus. Remus who had somehow managed to become more adorable and also have a few more scars that no one could necessarily know were new unless you were staring at him intently. As intently as Sirius was. 

Remus was also lost in thoughts about Sirius’s sad demeanour on the platform and James Potter’s puzzling behaviour. James could be a spoilt brat but Remus could also see a fiercely loyal and deeply caring friend beneath that layer. He smiled, sub consciously, at something Peter said, which made Sirius smile, which made James smile. 

The year which would be bring in some new developments in Remus’s life was off to a start with smiles all around.


	9. Remus and the Moons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It just breaks my heart to think sweet angel Remus has to go through such a hard thing as transformation. I am not detailing too much of it in my works (I find it very hard!) but I wanted to touch upon it a little bit.

Classes began in full swing right from the second day. As for the students, they fell into the happy rhythm that was set in the previous year. It was just easy to pick up from where they had left. Remus woke up before his room mates and was always out before they woke up. Lily tried to hang out as much with Remus as possible. That meant they spent most of their talking about books, or being in the library, or doing homework. 

Sirius and James had earned a detention the first week back. Peter was still following them around like a needy puppy. Sirius seemed to have completely lost the sombre mood he was in on the day of the return and was back to being his boisterous self. 

Severus was getting into lots of fights with the Gryffindors, particularly James and Sirius who left no opportunity to tease him. And also with Remus, much to Lily’s consternation. She liked Severus, he was her first friend in the magic world and her solace back home. But she didn’t like the way he treated Remus. 

Severus always shrugged, pretended to look a little ashamed, stayed off Remus for a week and went back to the usual. Remus for his part tried his best to ignore all this commotion around him and focus on his studies. The full moon was also due soon. Remus was nervous and agitated, first moon back and as always tried to shut himself away and snapped at any interference. 

The first moon back was rough for some reason. Maybe because of the break, maybe because he was missing his parents. The warmth of his usual garage room back home. The whomping willow was a little cold in comparison, especially since it had not seen a human since the last moon almost 4 months ago now. But had the house really seen a human at all? Wasn’t he a monster, a beast when he was in it? Remus couldn’t help the tears pouring down his face drenching and mixing with the blood and the sweat in his already wet hair.

When Madam Pompfrey came to pick him up in the morning, she was surprised to find the boy in the condition. No, she was not surprised that someone could be found in that condition after turning into a werewolf just a few hours before. 

She was surprised at finding Remus like that. She had expected him to cry and scream and be wild and violent, the year before when she first started taking him to the willow. But she would come back every moon to find a mild, scarred but beautiful boy who endured his pain with a disposition she considered almost too impossible for a 11 year old to possess. Yet she was surprised back then. And now she was surprised not to see that but she completely understood and empathised more than she could let on. 

After cleaning him up a little, she wrapped him the blanket and took him back to the hospital wing. A strong does of sleeping draught with some good pain killing potion put the boy into a peaceful state, as she stood watching him, feeling maternal and protective but completely helpless. When he woke up, he found he was a lot calmer, rested and clean. He was thankful to Madam Pompfrey who fussed over him and forced fed him a nice nourishing bone strengthening soup and lots of chocolates for the nerves. 

He avoided Sirius completely and tried his best to dodge Lily’s scrutinising gaze for the next few days. Over the next few weeks things got back to normal. And after a more relatively normal, well as normal as a 12 year old tearing himself apart can possibly be, full moons, Remus was grateful for Xmas. This time however, he would bring back some presents atleast from the money he had been saving up. It wasn’t a lot but it would have to do.

Lily was worried about Remus’s frequent sickness but knew enough to not bring it up with him. Sirius however knew it wasn’t sickness but a big secret that the boy was hiding from everyone. Though what it was or could be, Sirius hadn’t put his finger to it quite yet. But something was nagging at him. 

He couldn’t help feel that the answer was staring at him but he didn’t know what it was. Why did Remus try to hide? Why was Remus sick so often or get hurt? Where did he disappear to at an alarmingly high frequency? Why did he get so hungry sometimes and then lose his appetite completely after his ‘sickness’. These and many such questions kept Sirius occupied so much that even James and Peter had started noticing. But Sirius didn’t want to bring up this mystery about Remus just yet. For some reason, this and anything else to do with Remus, Sirius wanted to protect it from everyone else. Remus was a mystery he and only he was meant to solve.

But the mystery and Remus would have to wait until after he Xmas which he was once again going to be forced to spend with his dreary family and loathsome cousins.


	10. James Starts to Catch On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Sirius fight, Remus gets caught!

As with the previous the students came back from Xmas looking extra happy from all the presents and freezing from the cold. Sirius handed over his present to Remus who had received another book from Lily, more chocolates from James and Peter and was expecting the same from Sirius. He was pleasantly surprised and a little curious to see the gift was something entirely different. Sitting in front of him was the most beautiful quill Remus had ever seen. It was a long and fluffy amber feather. Lily noted that it matched the colour of his eyes, which made Remus blush slightly and surprised him even more. 

As usual Remus was left embarrassed, he had only managed to buy a few chocolates as gifts for them from the little money he had saved up. He sheepishly handed them over to his 3 dorm mates and Lily. For some reason, Sirius looked at the chocolate in complete awe, whilst the other two patted, more like hit, Remus on the back as a gesture of thanks. 

By the end of the day, James and Peter had finished up their stash of chocolate gift from Remus and were about to open Sirius’s. But before they could lay a finger on the packet, they both had gone flying to the floor on their bottoms and the chocolate packet still unopened lay in Sirius’s hand. 

Peter complained loudly but James just sat there staring at Sirius for a few minutes. And then he left the room without saying anything. Sirius felt a brief twinge of guilt but there was no way he was going to let anyone touch Remus’s gift. 

James hadn’t spoken to Sirius for the rest of the day after that incident. Sirius wanted to apologise but he didn’t have an answer if James asked him why he did that. So he kept quiet too. Remus noticed the silence in the room with curiosity and surprise but he didn’t know the guys well enough to interrupt. Also he was secretly happy for the silence in the room. Most days there was constant noise in the room, from the incessant chatting, constant prank planning, or laughing at the rude jokes the boys shared. A day of silence in the room was very welcome. 

The next morning the guys were still not talking to each other and Peter was tentative and unsure about whom to follow and finally settled upon James. This continued on for a while so much so that everyone in school, the teachers had noticed. However, most people thought this was part of the plan of a prank surely the guys were about to pull. After a day or 2, Remus realised he missed the noise, he missed all that chattering and laughing and he decided to talk to the guys. Though he didn’t know whom to speak to or what to say. 

James who was now on the Gryffindor team, no surprises there, was out for practise. Remus thought it was amazing how he could manage to practise and play in that cold weather and admired him great deal for it. And this is what he decided to open the talk with. What he did not expect was for Sirius to look hurt. Why was Sirius hurt that Remus admired James? Sirius however just shrugged at it and looked away. Remus however had started the peace process and so must it continue. He was not one to leave something unfinished. So he went and sat next to Sirius, who looked up in surprise.   
Remus noticed Sirius hands and his eyes went wide as he noticed some marks there. He had thought he was the only one with scars. Sirius self consciously hid his hands in his sleeves even as Remus gently touched Sirius’s hand. The touch sent shivers down Sirius’s back but went unnoticed by the boy who had caused it. After a long silence, Remus simply said “Sirius, being quiet doesn’t suit you. Can you and James please make up so the rest of us feel like the world is not ending. Please.” and gave a warm, sweet smile that melted Sirius innards like gooey chocolate. He nodded and ran out to find James. If Remus wanted him to make peace that’s what he would do. 

Sirius apologised, James hugged and just like that things went back to normal. But things had changed. A little. Sirius was glowing, James had noticed. Remus was smiling at them much more, James had noticed. It was the incident that made James notice Sirius and Remus in a new light. It was also the incident that eventually led to the discovery that would change the equation between these 3 guys. For behind that fun and bratty exterior, lay a very intense, perceptive and keenly intelligent James that many didn’t know or see. Unfortunately for Remus, Sirius had thrown Remus straight into the line of sight of one Mr James Potter. For once James started noticing, there was no hiding anymore.


	11. James Discovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James knows now. What will he do? How will he react? Sirius is crushed

Over the next several weeks, during which neither Sirius nor Remus noticed, James had observed a great deal. Remus’s usual absence, Sirius’s nerves when he found Remus gone again, Sirius’s sadness at seeing a tired and broken looking Remus. Remus, who looked more broken than a simple fall should have caused one to be. Remus who slept a lot, Remus who barely spoke in the days following his absence, studiously copying notes from Lily. 

James thought back to all the other times and started noticing a pattern. But he needed to wait and observe a little bit more to be sure. And he wasn't keen on running his theory by Sirius just yet. James now knew, probably better than Sirius himself did, how sensitive he was on all things Remus. So he wasn’t going to say anything till he was absolutely certain. The thought that he had been so self absorbed to not notice it for a whole year and half before made James uneasy, but he got over it quickly. 

It was only after the next moon, when Remus came back with a new scar that made Sirius’s heart wrench, that James finally felt sure of this theory. Remus’s new excuse almost made James laugh at his own foolishness. How had he bought these flimsy excuses. How did others continue to buy them? How did the teachers buy them? He wasn’t going to give out his theory yet to Sirius but test the waters. He needed to know how much Sirius already know and how he would react. 

James and Sirius were of the same age, James just a couple of months older but at that instance, James felt a lot older, almost like a parent. He needed to protect Sirius. At the same time he had to remain empathetic but also assess Remus correctly. So far Remus had given no reason to worry. And James felt guilty of harbouring any doubts but he had to remain objective in that moment.

Sirius had started joining him in his Quidditch practise to James’ great surprise. Until about a month or so ago, Sirius had been adamant on not wanting anything to do with the game. But James was just happy that he was now playing and didn’t care much for the reason behind the sudden change of heart. A few days post the moon, when they were returning from the Quidditch practise, seemed to be the right time. 

“Do you think we could borrow the Herbology assignment from Remus?”, James started and received a shrug in response. “I mean, Remus would have surely completed it by now, unless of course he is still sick from that..what was it he had this time?”, James continued on as casually as he could. Sirius stopped in his track and looked at James, a look that made even James Potter squirm a little.

But James was not one to be intimidated and he merely gave Sirius an innocent look. Sirius seemed to be assessing if James had in fact just casually mentioned it or if he was thinking more of it. “Why do you think he falls so sick so often, anyhow?”, James pushed and received another shrug. Suddenly Sirius felt James hand on his shoulder, turning him around on the spot. He looked determined to get this topic out. “Sirius, do you know something? Is there something you want to tell me?” James asked looking pointedly at Sirius. 

Sirius had started to panic. Something that doesn’t happen very often. James continued to look at Sirius, waiting for him to say what was on his mind. “What do you mean?”, Sirius delayed. “Don’t, Sirius. You know I am talking about Remus and his disappearances. Is there something you have noticed?”. Sirius shook his head but before James could say anything more blurted out “Its weird. Something is not right. I think he is lying. But I don’t know what it is. I feel like there is something but I am not able to put my finger on it”. Sirius was relieved to have it out in the open. “But, whatever it is I am sure he has his reasons. Its not because he is bad or wrong in any way, alright James.” Sirius added hastily.

Sirius was surprised to find James standing there very relaxed. He wasn’t smiling but he wasn’t angry either. He still seemed to be assessing Sirius and Sirius didn’t know why or what James wanted to know and why was he suddenly so interested in this now? “I think I might know what he is hiding. And I don’t know Sirius. I am not saying he is bad or wrong but I am not sure what to think of him, you know”. Whatever Sirius was expecting it was not that James to tell him he knew what Remus’s secret was. 

He thought maybe Remus had confided in James. After all Remus had said he admired James. And who didn’t. Was he feeling Jealous. He decided to push the feeling out and wait for James to explain. But James had gone quiet. He nudged Sirius towards an empty classroom as they entered the castle. “See there is a 1% chance that I could be wrong. I mean, everything fits but still. Firstly have you noticed the frequency of his disappearances and the specific day when he does?” James questioned. He looked up to see Sirius, wide eyed, mouth open as though the words just froze on the way out in the cold. How did Sirius miss that important detail. Of course. After what seemed like ages, Sirius finally looked at James, their eyes meeting for the first time since the conversation started. Were there tears in Sirius’s eyes? James put his hand around Sirius even as Sirius struggled to get any words out. “He can’t be…I mean I know all signs point to it, but he can’t be…that’s Remus…have you seen him…how can it be…” Sirius rumbled on and James let him. 

Finally after about 20 minutes of so of such rumbling, Sirius finally got up from the desk and motioned for James to move. “We will not say anything James. Lets give him some space.” 

James did feel bad for Remus too, “But Sirius, we can’t. We need to talk to him. I am not saying he is bad. But what if he does accidentally hurt someone. We need to do something about the situation. We can’t just leave it as is.” James reasoned. “Not now, please. Don’t hurt him James.” was all Sirius could manage before he ran and locked himself up in the bathroom and sobbed for an hour. 

When Sirius came back to the room, Remus was already asleep. Peter was rambling on and James was listening to him without really listening. He seemed to be considering what to do. Sirius looked at him pleadingly and James just nodded a reassurance as he took in the sight of the puffy red face of his best friend. They were only almost 13 and this was all far too complicated for that. They were just meant to have fun here. 

The next few days Sirius and James were unusually quiet and again everyone had noticed. James decided to cheer up Sirius with a prank. He was going to go after the Slytherins and take out his tension. The match was coming up as well and he couldn’t go on with so much pent up tension within him. The winter was slowly coming to an end and spring had just started with all the snow melting. It was the perfect opportunity to flood the dungeons. 

So they planned and executed their prank. What they didn’t expect was for Remus to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Just as they had pulled the prank and trying to escape the scene, Remus who had somehow managed to be near the dungeons then crashed into James who was under the invisibility cloak with Sirius and Peter. 

The cloak fell, revealing the guys and leaving Remus with bump in his head and a rude shock. James cursed, Peter looked terrified and Sirius just looked concerned about Remus. And before they could all flee, Slughorn caught up with them and all four of them received a month’s worth of detention. Remus looked disgusted but didn’t protest, though Sirius had tried to on his behalf and had been hushed by Slughorn. 

Over the next month therefore, James spent more time observing Remus from close quarters. Everytime he said something to Remus, it would make Sirius jump up in fright at what he might say. James however was wondering how Remus was going to get out of detention on the full moon. He realised he wouldn’t even have to say anything to anyone, this time Remus’s secret would be out. Sirius was having similar thoughts and he was wondering how he could possibly help Remus escape detention without Remus knowing or Slughorn finding out. 

The full moon came, Remus had disappeared, Slughorn made no mention of it and merely nodded at Remus’s lie. James was left completely bemused as Slughorn seemed to be unusually lenient with Remus that detention. James slapped his forehead with his hand so sharply and suddenly that it made everyone else jump up. But when James didn’t say anything further, they just went back to doing their detention work in silence. 

Sirius kept looking at James, questioning him with eyes but James refused all attempts at eye contact. Remus had been looking at James, skeptical and a little scared. When they had all gone to bed and James made sure Remus was asleep, he dragged Sirius out of the room and into the common room. “The teachers know. Of course, that’s why they have been buying his excuses. I am so stupid. How did I think Dumbledore or Mcgonaggal for that matter wouldn’t know it.” James finally told Sirius what he had realised. The heavy weight that had settled in Sirius’s chest since their previous conversation on this topic seemed to finally lift. “Yes James. Yes, thats it. That also means then there is nothing to worry about. He can continue staying here in Hogwarts with us” Sirius seemed to be beaming. 

“Yes, yes I guess. I mean if the teachers know then they must have thought about all the ..errr. complications, I suppose.” James smiled and then said in a more serious tone “I still feel we should speak to him. We can let him know that we won’t let out his secret. Maybe he could talk to us, tell us what he does, where he goes, how he manages.”. Sirius seemed a little skeptical but agreed with James. “Yes, we can talk to him and tell him we know”. He didn’t want Remus to panic or feel bad but he also wanted to desperately let him know that he was there for him. That he would be there for him no matter what. And so yes he did want to talk about it too.


	12. The talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh James and Sirius talk to Remus and oooops it doesn't go well.

James and Sirius were often spotted whispering in class, outside classes, in the common room and in their room. Peter felt a little hurt at not being included but of course he wouldn’t mention it. Remus wouldn’t have thought much of it, considering everyone and he also thought it was most likely about some stupid prank or the other. He was determined to stay out of it and out of their way. 

But he couldn’t help a nagging feeling, especially when some times he would find James looking at him. What was it that he was seeing in James eyes, was it recognition?Sirius’s behaviour which is odd at best of times was even more odd. Was he seeing pity in Sirius’s eyes? Maybe it was his own paranoia. He didn’t want to think about it but it was certainly making him anxious.

He was going to focus his energy on something else. Distract himself. He had taken to making a route of Hogwarts so that he could get away, hide or get to classes faster. He could concentrate on making a full fledged map out of it. So he started plotting on a huge piece of parchment, all the secret rooms and passages he had started to discover every time he wanted to hide.

From Lily who had taken to wanting to spend all her waking time with him. Or from James and Sirius who were trouble in more ways than Remus wanted or needed. Or from Severus who had taken to bullying him along with some other Slytherins. Of course he was an easy target for them.

Though not in the way they thought, chuckled Remus. They only got away because he let them he knew. Remus wouldn’t hurt a fly though he was more than capable of taking on much more heavy bullies than Severus and his friends. But they didn’t need to know that. It was not in Remus’s nature, at least not in the nature of the human within Remus, to want to hurt anyone. He would not do it no matter what the other person did. 

So when the door of the empty classroom where he sat one day working on the map, suddenly opened and shut behind, Remus looked up bemused and irritated. For a few seconds he thought it must be some bored ghost or Peeves come there to annoy him. But he knew instinctively, well one of his sensory organs did work overtime, that stood in front of him were two of the very trouble makers he had not wanted to be found. 

Remus had also discovered their secret invisibility cloak so he was not alarmed or surprised to be able to not see them there. But he didn’t know how to make them reveal themselves and then realised he was a wizard after all. he quickly folded the parchment he was working on and with a swift homenum revelio, a spell he had learnt from his dada, asked James and Sirius to drop it. 

James was looking at him with a measured glance mixed with slight awe at the magic he had performed rather easily. Remus squirmed under the look and he noticed Sirius looking at him, an expression on his face and look in his eyes that Remus could not decipher. These two guys were going to become the biggest bane to his life at Hogwarts, thought Remus rather bitterly. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone. 

“Sorry to interrupt mate. What are you working on? And why are you working on it here in a deserted classroom,” demanded James with a slight hint of superiority. Sirius understood the tone. It was the tone James used when he wanted to convey that he was in control there. Remus looked at James with a slight annoyance. The fear he had earlier felt for some reason seemed to be vanishing away. He didn’t mind James, he had seen the fun and occasionally kind side of him but he also knew James could also be a bully when he wanted to and he was not going to be scared of him. 

“We just want to know why you are not working in the common room..errr. its a little cold here, isn’t it. You might fall sick again.” Sirius had began to ramble on, moving towards Remus. Without intending to however Sirius had set up the conversation to the direction they wanted to take it in. Remus’s eyes darted between Sirius and James and he instinctively understood his secret had been discovered. But he didn’t know how this conversation was going to proceed or end. At that moment, Remus couldn’t help but realise that the situation was very much like 3 animals in a room, 2 hunting and one hunted assessing each other and the situation. 

The irony of it made him chuckle surprising James. Sirius was just staring at Remus with an indecipherable expression which annoyed Remus more. He at least had a general idea of James’s thoughts but Sirius, what was he thinking. He was a pureblood, that too from the Noble house of Black. He should right now be getting Remus arrested and seeking execution. But here he was standing and staring at Remus and Remus didn’t know what he was going to do. Maybe he was a sadist who enjoyed playing and toying with his prey before. 

The three of them stood there watching each other, trying to figure out what each one might be thinking for some period of time. “We know”, Remus heard James say firmly, his jaw set. “And..” challenged Remus. Remus didn’t know where he found the courage in that moment to stand there and face them and not back down and run away. But his feet were buckling and hot tears were forming stinging his eyes. 

Before they realised how or what happened, Remus had pinned down Sirius on the floor and James was pointing his wand at him with a furious expression on his face. Remus got up slowly and said in a low tone “I thought he was going to attack me. I acted in defence.” Sirius looked shocked and sad. “We are not here to hurt you Remus”, James tone continued to remain firm. Remus couldn’t help but admire him even in that moment. James knew what Remus was yet he stood there bravely confronting him with not a hint of fear in his stance or voice. 

“Why are you here then? Were you following me?” Remus’s anger was rising and he was trying his best to stay calm. How was James standing there so calmly?! “We wanted to talk you to about it. So the teachers know right?” James continued as Sirius stood there still sad and nursing the bruise in his hands from when Remus held him down.   
“Of course they do. You think Dumbledore will not know?” Remus was exasperated with James stupidity. “Look Dumbledore offered me to come to Hogwarts. So maybe we should have this conversation with him.” Remus tried to end it, but James was not going to. 

“Fine. If he did, then he knows what he is doing. But…”   
“You think? Maybe he should have consulted you, the mighty James Potter.” Remus cut in, shocking James and earning a tiny smile from Sirius. 

James furrowed his brow “No need to be aggressive. WE were just talking”. James was just infuriating. “Shut up James,”, “You followed me, you started this,” Sirius and Remus both shouted at the same time.   
The three of them remained silent again for a while before finally Sirius spoke up “Look Remus, mate, we are not here to hurt you or pick a fight. We just wanted to let you know that we know and we are ok with it.” The tone of his voice, the kindness in his face and the sadness his in eyes made Remus’s defense completely melt and he broke down. Sirius moved, a little tentatively this time, to put a hand around the sobbing boy. But Remus panicked and ran out of the room and out of the castle with such agility that even the normally fast runners James and Sirius couldn’t keep up with him. The two boys were left feeling confused and sorry and a little guilty. 

It was past the curfew and Remus had not returned. Sirius was pacing around the room anxiously. It was a stupid idea. Why did they have to open their big mouths. James was also looking uncomfortable but was tired and ready to sleep. Peter had already gone to sleep realising that neither boys were going to tell him why they were so uneasy. 

After what seemed like ages, a very small looking Remus completely drenched in his own sweat and tear entered the room silently. James had also fallen asleep but Sirius was lying awake and still on his bed. He made no move when he heard Remus enter, he didn’t want to scare the boy away again. He lay there waiting for Remus to go to bed and he couldn’t sleep a wink that night as he cursed himself over and over again, hearing Remus sob the whole night into his pillow.


	13. The Headmaster Summons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this the beginning of a beautiful friendship? Professor Dumbledore seems to think so....

The next few days Remus was missing all the time or so it seemed to Sirius. He was not able to spot the guy anywhere. He somehow appeared just around the time for the classes. Barely lifted his head from his parchment. And he disappeared again after classes. What was he doing? Where was he going? Was he eating? Worry and guilt was eating up Sirius who was becoming edgier and edgier by the minute. Peter had no clue what was happening and was terrified of the growing frustration in general and between James and Sirius. James was also feeling uneasy and was finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate on his practise. The big match was coming up against Ravenclaw and he was getting yelled at by the captain for being distracted. 

On the morning, 3 days later, at breakfast, Sirius and James were discussing in low voices on how to get hold of Remus when both were startled by an angry voice. “What did you guys do to him?”, demanded the voice which belonged to Lily, whose head color matched that of her face. “What do you mean?”, “We didn’t do anything to Remus” James and Sirius exclaimed simultaneously and looked at each other. Lily narrowed her eyes at them and continued in a tone that would have made even a 7th year quiver “If I find out that you guys are the reason Remus is upset and unwilling to talk to anyone or eat, I swear on my magic I will make hex you in a way you wished you were never at Hogwarts,” she finished. 

James gulped but put on a brave face, “Look, Evans, we didn’t do anything to Remus.” Lily was not convinced. “We are also worried about him Evans. I..we don’t know where he is sleeping or if he is eating anything at all,” sirius said. Lily stared at Sirius for a while before finally letting out a sigh “Look, I managed to give him some food but he won’t talk or tell me what’s going on. But you better not have anything to do with his state.” And with that she turned around and left, leaving Sirius not any less worried and James a little dazed. He had never been spoken to like that before that by any one. He was a little annoyed and also a little in awe of the redhead in that instance. 

“Hey boys, you are required in Professor Dumblodore’s office in 10 minutes.” said Mary startling both of them out of their thoughts. Peter looked terrified “But I haven’t done anything” he cried. Mary looked confused for a minute and then realising just waved her hand ‘No only James and Sirius, I was told.’ ‘What’s this about?’ James questioned as she was leaving. ‘I don’t know. I was asked you to give you guys the message. Oh and I almost forgot and this” she handed over a piece of parchment with the words “Lemon Sherbet” on it “Bye!” she waved and skipped out of the great hall towards the girls dorm to pick up her bag. 

Peter looked relieved but he looked up to see James and Sirius exchange glances. He wondered what they had done and if they had done something bad to Remus but he didn’t have the guts to ask them. “We’ll see you in the class Peter. Can you get our bags please? We may not have the time to run back and pick them.” James asked and Peter nodded only too happy to help James anyway he could without getting into trouble himself. 

James and Sirius went up to the office unsure of what this was about.They gave the password to the gargoyle at the door who let them in. This is the first time they were in the headmaster’s room and they were feeling a little apprehensive but also a little curious. They looked around and marvelled at the beautifully stone carved room with many different statues on the wall when a spiral staircase descended. They took the stair case to a large hall upstairs. The room was large, with several big shelves on either sides and a few more at the far end. There was a huge desk in the centre of the room. On one side of the desk were 3 large wooden chairs. On the other side of the desk was another large chair with beautiful dark green upholstery. On that sat the professor himself smiling and looking at something straight ahead. To his left, on another smaller wooden chair sat a stern and rather sad, thought James, Professor Mcgonaggal, looking at the same object. 

“Ah. Welcome boys” Professor Dumbledore looked up to see the boys inching towards him. At the moment, James caught Professor Mcgonaggal’s eye, looking rather fiercely at them. Was it anger? Sirius seemed to have noticed it too. Both of them felt chill run down their spines but Professor Dumbledore was smiling as always. He motioned for the boys to take a seat as the boys went around to pull the large chairs back to get on them, they noticed Remus on the chair to the far right. James and Sldn’t irius had had a nagging suspicion that their summon had something to do with Remus. They didn’t say anything to him or to either of the professors and simply took the empty seats. James in the middle and Sirius at the one closest to Mcgonaggal. He tried to get a proper glimpse of Remus but Remus had made himself smaller and was trying to shrink away from them, from the scene.   
A few minutes silence ensued and finally Professor Mcgonaggal spoke up. ‘Is it true that you both have figured out Mr Lupin’s secret.?” There was a fierce protective undercurrent in her tone that boys noted. For some reason that seemed to calm Sirius. They nodded. “What is the meaning of spying on your classmate, fellow housemate and roommate?” questioned she. They just rather there muted. Whilst Mcgongaggal’s unusually irrational anger confused and scared James who prided himself in being her favourite, Dumbledore’s piercing gaze disconcerted Sirius more. Both of them sat squirming in their seats when they heard a slight sob. Sirius couldn’t help but look at Remus whilst James was staring at the floor. This was probably the first time in his life he was close to tears. They were tears of anger, frustration and a little bit of shame and guilt. 

“Have you told anyone else?” demanded the angry professor. “No Minerva, they haven’t. And I don’t think they were planning to either.” Dumbledore said simply with such tenderness that all 3 boys looked at him stunned. Sirius nodded vigorously in agreement. “Absolutely professor. We never meant to tell anyone. We never meant to hurt Remus. I..We would never.” Dumbledore smiled at Sirius, a sudden twinkle his eyes. 

“See Remus, I told you. They are your friends. Or they will be, if you let them, that is.” Dumbledore added with such tenderness that Sirius wanted to hug him. “Remus, my dear boy, I didn’t bring you to Hogwarts just to give you a chance to study. That’s not the only part of school Remus. You are here, exactly where you need to be. Where you deserve to be. And if the hat chose to put you in Gryiffindor, then I believe it must have had its reason. And I think I know the reason now.” Dumbledore had walked up to Remus and placed his hand gently on the boys shoulder. “I think Sirius and James, very smart and observant boys that they are, simply wanted to talk to you.”. 

Sirius just kept staring Remus willing him to relax and believe what Dumbledore was saying. “Professor Dumbledore, Professor Mcgonaggal, we were initially concerned but we knew that if you all knew then there was nothing for us to be worried about.” James gave a might speech. “We only spoke to him because we wanted him to know that we knew his secret. If we wanted to hurt him, we would have complained to you or our parents a long back. We have knows for a while now” James finished. Sirius wanted to smack James for the haughty speech but he noticed that everyone in the room had relaxed by then so he let it pass. 

After a few minutes, though it seemed a lot longer, of silence, professor Dumbledore still standing close to Remus said “So James, Sirius, can I count on you guys to never mention this to anyone?” Both of them nodded in firm agreement. “Good. Can I also be bold enough to claim your friendship for Remus?”. Sirius nodded immediately in agreement and James nod followed, a tad bit later but with absolutely no hesitation.   
“Excellent. Remus, can I once again take the liberty of asking you to place your trust in this old man’s instincts?” Remus nodded slowly. “Then, Remus, believe me when I say, you are about to embark on a most special journey. I daresay these 2 young men here will make the most admirable companions for you in that journey. Remus, my dear boy, sometimes it takes more guts to trust people than to go solo. And the rewards of taking that chance to trust can be truly enriching. Well in any case, the boys have assured us they are not going to breathe a word about this to anyone, not even their own parents, yes?” Dumbledore asked again to James and Sirius who nodded again, both of them smiling this time.

“So please will you now go back to your dorm, go to the great hall for regular meals and go back to being normal at the very least? If not for anything else, for the sake of poor Professor Mcgonnaggal here who has been worrying herself sick over your behaviour the last few days?” The transfiguration professor had a small smile and looked a bit shy at her tenderness being exposed, she liked to make sure she always appeared stern and in control. 

“Professor Dumbledore, what about Peter?” James asked. “He shares the room with us too and is usually with us. What would your advise be?” Once again Remus was in awe of James levelheadedness. Behind his carefree, brattish and reckless behaviour was a calm, objective and logical mind that always took everything and everyone into consideration. Remus looked up to see Dumbledore smiling fondly at James, same thoughts probably running in his mind about James. “Glad you asked James. But I trust you and your instincts. I would, however, wait for Remus to trust them too.” James simply nodded, having understood the answer, whilst both Sirius and Remus looked confused and a little scared. 

“Remus, did you hear Professor Dumbledore. No more skipping meals or sleeping out in the cold. Sirius, I want you to let me know if Remus doesn’t eat or sleep properly.” Mcgonnaggal announced. Both of the boys nodded, both a little shy. “And James, you better win the match for us”, she called out as she was heading out of the door. “Yes Mam” James yelled after her, happily. 

“Excellent. Don’t you guys have classed to go to? Pip Pip, off you go”, Dumbledore sent them off. James and Sirius skipped out of the room whilst Remus stalled a little. HE wanted to thank the professor which he did. Also he didn’t know what he would say to the boys, so he stalled a bit more. Finally, he came out of Dumbledore’s office and found Sirius and James standing there waiting. All 3 boys looked at each other, James looking sheepish yet pumped up, Sirius looking happy and Remus shy but more relaxed than the last few weeks. 

“I didn’t say anything to the Professor. I didn’t know how they knew” Remus said as he approached them. “Forget it. Friends?” James exclaimed. Remus nodded and extended a hand out a little unsure. James grinned from ear to ear before pulling ignoring the extended hand and pulling the boy into a bear hug. Sirius and Remus both froze for a second in surprise. Remus pulled out the hug and extended his hand to Sirius next. Sirius who was usually the hugger and frankly the most tactile person anyone had known, looked shy and unsure of what to do. After a moment he took the hand and shook it gently, with shivers running down his spine at the touch. He just looked down at his shoes hoping to hide the blush. Remus didn’t seem to notice Sirius’s odd behaviour, James continued to smile but his eyes were narrowed in on Sirius. 

“Lets run to the class, we are late.” James nudged the boys. “your bags?” asked Remus. “Peter is bringing it” james answered as all 3 boys had already broken into a sprint. “This way”, said Remus pulling the boys in the opposite direction. “No, wolf boy, its this way?” James said. Remus had stopped in his tracks as had Sirius. James turned around to see and seeing their shocked expressions asked a little cautiously “Too early for that eh?” To his great surprise Remus smiled and said “No you prat, this way”. Both the boys burst out laughing and Sirius could just combust from happiness in that moment.


	14. Buds of Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this the start of a beautiful friendship?

James and Sirius arrived at the class, their mouth half gaping from the sprint and half from the new secret route Remus had just shown them. Remus refused to tell James or Sirius anything about how he found the route no one else knew and kept shrugging it off every time they asked during the journey. When the boys entered the class, no two people we more worried to see the 3 of them together than Lily and Peter. Their worry soon turned into a skeptical surprise when they saw the 3 of them smile. Remus moved slowly and sat next to the empty seat Lily had saved him whilst the other 2 boys went and sat next to Peter. 

Lily kept throwing glances at Remus, wordlessly questioning him on what was going on and at James and Sirius, wordlessly threatening them to stay way from Remus. All 3 boys pointedly ignored her. Remus refused to answer any of Lily’s questions as they hung out in the library together that evening as he had done the whole day. “Hey Remus”, he heard a familiar voice say quietly as he exited the library with Lily. Both of them looked up in surprise to see a very handsome looking Sirius Black standing outside the library. On the other side of the corridor were 3 second year Hufflepuff girls giggling and meddling with their hair. “Hey Sirius, were you waiting for someone? James is not in the library,” said Remus and Lily just rolled her eyes. 

“I was actually waiting for you,” Sirius said and a little hesitantly put his arms around Remus’s shoulder. He didn’t miss but ignored the surprised look on both Remus and Lily’s face that is words and action had brought about. “Me? Why? Is some professor asking for me?” wondered Remus aloud. 

“No, no. Come on, we need to get to the great hall for dinner.” Sirius said now dragging Remus with him now by his hand. He turned around to see what had stopped Remus when he noticed Lily dragging him by his other hand. “What, Evans, pray is your problem? You don’t want our dear Remus to eat?”. Remus and Sirius blushed a little at the word that had slipped but Lily seemed to be contemplating something else to notice. “I am sure you are playing a prank of some sort and I will not let you use or make Remus the scapegoat for it.” she huffed. It was Sirius’s turn to roll his eyes now. 

Remus smiled sweetly at them and said, “Yes Sirius, that’s where we were headed. Come Lily, I am starving.” With that he dragged both of them and walked towards the Great hall. Both of them were really happy that Remus seemed to have recovered from the past few days. But Sirius and Lily kept rolling their eyes for every word the other all the way. At this rate, Lily and Sirius were going to need new pair of eyeballs very soon. 

James had just finished his practise and was chatting with a few girls at the table. Sirius dragged Remus over to the seat that James had saved both of them. Remus was dragging Lily with him. James looked up to see them and a huge grin lit his face up. He then looked at Remus holding Lily’s hand with an arched look. “Oh, Miss Evans, the high and mighty Muggle queen is here to join us. What an honour.” James cooed. Lily threw him a dirty glance and looked over at Remus. Caught between James and Sirius on one side, Lily on the other, Remus was unsure of what to do. But Sirius still laughing from earlier refused to let go of Remus’s hand. Remus looked at Lily sheepishly and let go of her hand, wordlessly apologising to her. Lily definitely didn't look pleased but she didn't want to be there for another second so she stormed over to the far end where her friends Marlene and Mary were having dinner. 

“So Remus you and Lily, eh?” James teased. Sirius and Remus had both turned red but James was focused on Remus’s reaction. Remus stuttered and stammered and gulped and couldn’t say a word. James laughed raucously and patted him on his head. Remus and Sirius ate their dinner in silence for a while, whilst James went on about something or the other. Suddenly, James yelled rowdily “Oyie Evans, want some beets? They match you hair” and burst out into more raucous laughter. But before Lily could respond, James was hit by a hex which made his nosebleed. “Now your face matches with the beets. Stuff it in your big mouth”. 

Everybody at the table watched the scene in horror when an angry looking Snape stood behind James along with Avery and one of them had cast the spell. Sirius looked furious, Remus shocked and Peter worried. But before Sirius could do anything Professor Mcgonaggal stepped in. With a swift flick of the wand she stopped the nose bleed. “Potter, go clean up. Sirius go with him. Severus and Avery, detention for a month. I will be having a word with Horace about this.” She barked. No one protested, everyone glared but went their way. 

Remus went back to the dorm and waited for the guys to come back. He felt bad about what had happened. James was acting like a prat but what Snape and Avery had done was unnecessary. Peter as usual looked scared. But James and Sirius didn’t come back for a long time. Remus lay awake for a while waiting but he didn't realise when they had come in. 

Next day, he still didn’t get a chance to speak to the boys and they seemed to be talking only to each other in whispers, in class, outside class, at lunch and basically all the time. It was not until dinner, when Sirius didn’t spot Remus in the great hall did he panic. James gave him an enquiring look but Sirius just shrugged and ran towards the library. He saw Remus and Lily walking back to the hall. 

Remus smiled when he saw Sirius. “Hey, how are you? We were just coming to the hall for dinner. Is James alright?” Remus asked, Lily just stood there not saying anything. “Yes, yes he is fine. Did you have lunch? You are late for dinner?” Sirius said a little too heavily, earning a raised eyebrow from Lily. “What’s with him?’ she asked Remus instead. 

Remus shrugged, Sirius blushed but recovering he said “You don’t want me to get into trouble with Professor Dumbledore again, do you Remus? You remember he gave me the responsibility of making you eat?” said Sirius. Even he didn’t buy the argument but Remus seemed to have. Lily just looked confused “Why did Professor Dumbledore ask you to take care of Remus?”. “None of your business, Evans” said Sirius heatedly. “I am his friend and I don’t trust you or that Potter one bit,” countered Lily equally heatedly. 

“No one cares what you think, Evans. Besides, your friend is going to pay for yesterday. You better go take care that slimy git the best you can. Come Remus,” Sirius grabbed Remus, marching away from the scene. Lily just stood there looking angry and guilty and hatred for the 2 guys causing hot tears well up in her eyes. But she gulped and shook her head and went to the great hall ignoring the boys for the rest of the evening. 

It was clear James and Sirius were planning some big prank as a get back for that evening’s event. Lily had accosted Remus a few days later trying to find out if he was involved. But Remus assured her that he wasn’t. But he also said he wouldn’t blame the boys if they did, for Snape had crossed a line. Lily didn’t say anything back but looked sad. Remus had earlier asked James and Sirius if it was absolutely necessary for them to seek vengeance and the boys were adamant. Sirius seemed angry that Remus did not want to support them so Remus didn’t push the point further. 

The Slytherins were waiting in anticipation for the payback but it was nearing 2 weeks and nothing came. “They must have chickened out. Who would want to mess with pureblood like us?” a haughty Lucius Malfoy questioned. And so for 2 weeks nothing happened. There was only a month and a few days left for the term to come to an end, so they were fairly convinced that nothing was going to happen. But James and Sirius were first and foremost Gryffindors. They could be accused of many things. Chickening out was most definitely one thing they could never be found on that list.


	15. Payback

James and Sirius were often spotted discussing in hushed tones. They didn’t talk much to Remus and Remus seemed withdrawn also. And then Sirius realised it was the full moon. Remus was looking a bit down on the day. Sirius told Remus he wanted to go the shack with Remus but Remus was horrified when he said that. OF course James talked him out of it. 

That night after Remus left, Sirius was uneasy the whole time and even James was a bit worried. They spoke about how it would be for Remus. And the boys suddenly realised the kind of mental strength Remus must have to go through what he did every month. They felt sad for him but were also amazed at his ability to come back and be who he was. Month after Month. Until that moment, even after they had found out, what Remus must go through hadn’t hit them. 

The next morning, Sirius got up early, borrowed James’ invisibility cloak and went to the hospital wing. He went in and found Remus wrapped in a blanket, sleeping peacefully. He didn’t see signs of pain but somehow still felt it. He stood there staring at Remus and he hadn’t even realised when and how the tears had started rolling down his cheek. He couldn’t bear it anymore and he ran out of the hospital wing, knocking into Lily. He cursed and realised his mistake. Lily looked around confused, not being able to see anyone. Sirius held his breath and waited for Lily to give up and move, which she thankfully did. He removed the cloak and ran back to the dorm. Sirius didn’t eat breakfast or lunch that day. James tried to cheer him up but it was not until that evening when Remus came back to the room did Sirius smile. 

He asked Remus to go to dinner and they ate in companionable silence. Remus was touched at the tenderness that James and Sirius showed and felt extremely grateful for it.   
Things went back to normal and the end of the term was only 2 weeks away. Most people had presumed that things were quiet. The usual routine followed till the evening. James and Sirius were their usual self as was Remus. It was after their last class of the day and Remus had just come back to the room to drop his bag. 

It was then he saw Sirius and James discussing in hushed tones and they stopped immediately as Remus came in. He knew that James and Sirius would not give up on what happened a couple of months ago, so he knew they were planning something. Remus didn’t want to intrude but he was also curious. Finally his curiosity won and he looked up at them. 

“You could use Muffliato if you don’t want others to hear what you are discussing. Seems a little less obvious that way.” Remus said casually. Sirius grinned and James shrugged. Remus stood there uncertainly and added quite bravely “Whatever it is that you are planning, good luck with it. Try not getting caught. And please definitely try not to get me caught.” He smiled and Sirius’s grin widened. James also smiled and Remus simply nodded. 

That night in the great hall, things were normal. Everyone was enjoying their dinner when suddenly Snape started yelling. The spoon half way into his mouth had become a snake. His plate had become a rat and was running around on the table. Within a few seconds more plates and spoons and glasses on the tables had turned into different typed of rodents and one even a snake. The students were shrieking and screaming and food was being knocked out everywhere. 

The Hufflepuffs were trying to help whereas the Ravenclaws were engrossed in their own discussions and meals. Gryffindors were of course enjoying the show. No one noticed 2 boys missing for a few minutes and no one noticed them sneak back to their seats. No one except Peter and Remus. Sirius and James were elated, their cheeks flushed from the running and the excitement. Remus caught James eye first and smiled at him and then at Sirius. The four of them exchanged mutual glances and smiles and continued eating silently.

The teachers had managed to put the table back to its normal state. Professor Mcgonaggal was besides herself and was looking very angry. “If I catch the students who were responsible for this, they are going to be serving detention for the rest of the year!”. Professor Dumbledore’s remark only seemed to agitate her more “On the contrary I think you should be rather generous to the culprits. After all they have demonstrated the best of your teaching Minerva.” Sirius giggled, James puffed his chest up. Remus had to agree, that was some really good transfiguration work. 

“Now lets see who are the students we know who are good at transfiguration and also have a bone to pick with the students from that table?” Dumbledore said staring right at Sirius. But his eyes were twinkling and rather than being angry he seemed to be proud of their work. “But alas, Minerva, we can’t prove anything. After all no one did see anyone casting any spells.” Everyone knew who was behind this but no one could prove anything.

Professor Slughorn took time to calm Snape down. Some of the Slytherins were screaming out for punishment for James and Sirius. James and Sirius sat there looking smug. Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius stuck his tongue out at them. Professor Mcgonaggal walked up to the table and looked right at James and Sirius. James said innocently that he was right there eating. 

She turned around and looked at Peter and then turned at looked at Remus. “Remus, did you see the guys here leave the table.” Remus shook his head without any hesitation and said “No Mam, they were here, next to me, through out.”. Professor Mcgonaggal seemed a little shocked for a second for she knew Remus was lying. But she didn’t say anything. “Very well then. It can’t have been you.” And she stormed out. 

James and Sirius and Remus walked out of the hall, Peter tagging along. James and Sirius were beaming and each having an arm around Remus. They all went to sleep laughing. The next few days went where the Gryffindors and even some Ravenclaws teased Snape about the snake in his mouth. Snape was scared to eat for a few days. 

Lily was unhappy with Remus for having lied and she was avoiding him. Remus was happy that he had become friends with his room mates. But he did miss Lily. Sirius was ecstatic. The second year had turned out to be the best year of his life. His friendship with James had grown deep. And his new friendship with Remus was making him feel all kinds of things. He was also happy that Lily was not talking to Remus. He was happy that Snape had paid his price. He had had a lot of fun this year.

Remus finally managed to get Lily to talk to him. Though she didn’t say much, she hugged him and promised to write to him. Sirius who heard this was surprised to know Lily had written to him over last summer. “Remus, you must write to me. I will write to you also” Sirius said. James rolled his eyes. Remus smiled and promised he would write to both of them. They boarded the train to home and Sirius was so engrossed in thoughts about Remus and his happiness over the events that he didn’t even think of the horrors awaiting him till the train pulled over at Kings Cross.


	16. Lily Evans Gets All the Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Third year starts, everyone is starting to notice everyone else. Sirius begins to feel jealous. Angst begins...

The summer was especially horrid for Sirius. He couldn’t get Remus out of his mind, nor could he discuss him with anyone. He wrote once to Remus, just before the next full moon but, was too shy to write too often. Remus responded after the moon, informing Sirius and James that he was fine. He was being generally sweet in the letter but distant, as he was prone to being. The fact that he wrote back was enough to make Sirius extremely happy nevertheless, which in turn made Walburga extremely suspicious. But who cared? Certainly not Sirius. 

He wrote more often to James of course, as was their habit by now. His letters omitted some of the more gruesome punishments that the elf, Kreacher, meted out happily, at his mothers orders. He also carefully omitted out the part on how much he was pining for a certain amber eyed boy. Sirius didn’t fully understand his feelings yet, but he felt instinctively that this year things were going to change for him. It made him excited and uneasy in equal parts, but didn’t know why. He was glad to have James become a second brother to him in the past couple of years. 

His real brother, Regulus, who was an almost exact replica of him, just a little shorter and stouter, was of course due to start at Hogwarts this year. Sirius spent most of his time either dreaming or day dreaming about hanging out with James, Regulus and Remus. Sometimes alone with Remus, studying of course or rather watching him study; sharing sweets and chocolates or rather watching him eat chocolates; laughing at silly pranks or rather watching him laugh his beautiful laughter. So all in all, Sirius, despite the usual insults, punishments and offensive behaviour from his family, found it easier to endure it all, this summer.

Remus had a fairly quite summer, happy and content as ever. His mum was even more cheerful than usual. Not only had Remus received as many letters as last year from Lily, she noticed letters from two new friends. One from a funnily named boy called Sirius Black, which distressed Lyall a great deal. Thankfully there were only two and they came along with James Potter, the Potter’s heir, so Lyall didn’t protest too much. Though Remus did notice Lyall was wary about this new friendship. 

Lyall knew the Potters, though not closely, as Fleamont also worked at the ministry. Lyall normally approved of very few people. Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly, as Remus would discover in a couple of years, Fleamont was one of them. 

Black family on the other hand was everything Lyall detested. And families like the Blacks were the reason Lyall didn’t want Remus to go into the magic world, go to Hogwarts. And now look, Remus was not only sharing the dorm with the Black boy, who was in Gryffindor, but also becoming friends with him. 

Though for the moment he was not going to say anything about it, he had to find a way to warn his naive, innocent boy to stay as far away as possible from the Black boy. If need be, he would fight with Dumbledore and get his house and dorm changed. Though he knew that plan wasn’t likely to succeed, for now he consoled himself with those thoughts. 

He did however ask Remus about Sirius and their friendship and also why they were writing to each other. Remus had simply shrugged and said it was only because they were sharing the dorm and nothing more. He didn’t dare mention to his dad that these two boys had in fact found out his carefully guarded secret. 

Remus usually didn’t keep secrets from his mum and dad. Well, except of course, when he tries to hide the true extent of his pain, but he suspected they knew any way. But, other than that he never had too many secrets from them. But somehow, something stopped him from telling Lyall about Sirius’ and James’ discovery of his identity and their reaction to it. 

Remus wanted to, for once, trust someone. Though he was still very guarded with them and he always would be, he felt he could at least trust them to not betray his identity to anyone. Something about James infused a confidence and trust he didn’t feel with too many others, and something about Sirius infused him with warmth that he couldn’t explain. And, then of course, there were Dumbledore and Mcgonnagal. Here were 2 people that Remus had learnt to trust implicitly, already. Which was a dangerous thing, the wolf had warned him, but the human in him had told him otherwise. These thoughts, however, Remus kept to himself. 

September 1st arrived and the scenes everywhere were pretty much the same as the previous year. Excited students buzzing around the platform 93/4 exchanging stories of summer trysts with their friends. Nervous first years staying close to their parents, looking wide eyed at the train and everything around the platform. 

The main difference from last year was in the Black family gathering. Whilst last year Sirius was sent off alone with Kreacher, this year Walburga and Orion, stood there looking as glum as ever with their noses held higher. And this time there were 2, not the usual one black haired heir, standing next to each other. The older one, was smiling, nay grinning and was looking around manically, which earned him a strong pinch making him wince even though he continued grinning The younger one looked more nervous than all the first years put together. He braced himself for a lecture but all he received was “Get on, behave like a Black,” from a stern voice the belonged to a tall, haughty man, Orion Black. “Do not behave like your brother”, added a rather gruff Walburga. 

As the 2 boys got on to the compartment, Sirius tried to drag Regulus to find James. But Regulus went and joined his cousin Narcissa who was waiting for them in a compartment with Bellatrix, his other cousin. Sirius hated them. Hate not being a strong enough word for how he felt for them. And the intensity of his hatred for them was only growing every passing year. 

In fact, Sirius felt that way about all of his family, with the exception of Regulus and his cousin Andromeda. He was somewhat of a favourite of his Uncle Alphard, whom he didn’t know very much about but liked anyway, simply because the rest of the family didn’t. Of course, when he was younger, Sirius used to feel extremely guilty about these feelings for his family. But he still couldn’t help feeling that way. 

But now, having seen the world outside, in and through Hogwarts; having met James and Remus and even Lily, he knew he wasn’t wrong in how he felt about his family and their values. James was a pureblood but his upbringing could not have been more different. He mixed easily with everyone, he loved all things muggles and he was always happy and joyous and boisterous. And he was never punished for any of that. 

Remus, well, where was he to start. Remus was half blood but a brilliant wizard. Remus was what his family would consider a foul creature. But in Sirius’s eyes he was the most beautiful, most gentle person to walk the earth. And even Lily, who was what his pureblood would call a mudblood, was an exceptionally gifted witch. She could give James and him a run for their money. And she was already extremely popular with everyone except Slytherins at Hogwarts. And there were many others like that at Hogwarts. 

Sirius had tried to explain all this to Regulus over summer. He wasn’t sure how Regulus felt about it and if he even understood or agreed with him. But he was sure his brother would come to the same conclusion once he started at Hogwarts. So he had let him be and not pushed him too much. 

Sirius was furious, for a minute with Regulus for joining their cousins, he glared at the lot but didn’t say anything to Regulus. When Bellatrix sneered, and Narcissa pointed out the empty seat, he simply moved on, not bothering to acknowledge either. “Your brother prefers half bloods and mud bloods to us, charming isn’t he?”, he had heard Bellatrix snigger loudly. 

He was about to turn around and pick a fight, when James jumped on him and grabbed him into a hug. All his tension vanished that instant and they both wore matching manic grins. In a matter of time, James, Peter and he settled down, comfortably in the compartment. Sirius looked around madly. 

The train was about to leave and he hadn’t gotten any sight of Remus yet, on the train or even on the platform. Sirius began to worry and was trying to rush out of the compartment to jump off the train to see where or what was keeping Remus from joining them. But James caught him and pushed him to the chair, “He will be on the train somewhere Sirius, just relax”.

Peter who didn’t understand what was happening said stupidly “But your brother was with you and you just left him with your cousin at the compartment you said. So why are you worried?” James and Sirius eyed him and then Sirius just looked at James but said nothing. 

At that moment, Marlene passed by and said a hello to the boys. James and Peter noticed Marlene’s eyes widen as she took in Sirius. Sirius was looking exceptionally handsome, having grown just a little taller but very muscular indeed over the holidays. He wore his formal shirt, top buttons of which were now undone and his tie hanging around his neck loosely. His hair was growing long, longer than usual and fell perfectly on his broad strong shoulders. 

As Marlene was taking all this in, Sirius continued to look manically around which led James to ask Marlene, “You haven't seen Remus, have you?”. “Oh he is sitting with us, Lily, Mary and me, in our compartment”, she said casually, gave a shy smile and a wave and left. James nodded, Sirius sighed in relief but soon the relief turned to annoyance as he sulked his entire way to the school. Remus was supposed to be sitting next to him, not that stupid Lily.

As the train pulled into the station all the first years got out and waited for Hagrid to collect them. Sirius caught Regulus’s eye, grinned and winked at him and gave him a thumbs up. Regulus returned a small smile and nod. 

Thats when he spotted Lily and Remus. His heart definitely skipped a beat, possibly even two or three. Remus had grown a little taller but he was still too thin. But somehow he looked more beautiful than ever. More angelic. His golden curls looked softer and had recently been trimmed.

Lily, on the other hand, had grown quite tall and was looking quite different. Her red hair had grown in length and she had it loosely tied at the back. But there was something about her overall look that had changed. She was always pretty but now she had already grown into a young woman and that brought about changes to her figure that were remarkable. Sirius noticed all the guys noticing her. Even several Slytherins. 

But it was the position of her arm that had Sirius’s sole attention. She had her arm looped into Remus’ arm. “Like, what the hell?”….”err..what? what’s the matter?” asked James. Had he said the last part aloud? “hfff…nothing..”

But James followed Sirius’s eyes and let out a gasp, as his own eyes took in the sight of the much changed Lily Evans. This time, it was James’ heart that missed the beats. How had she turned into such a stunning woman? James couldn’t tear his eyes away and neither could Sirius. They reached the great hall in silence. James bewitched by Lily and Sirius extremely annoyed. Peter was just looking confused.

As they entered the great hall and sat down for the sorting, Remus finally saw Sirius and James and Peter and gave a small smile and wave. James looked like someone had stunned him and didn’t respond to it. Sirius scowled and turned away, leaving Remus as confused as Peter, who merely looked back at Remus stupidly. Lily on the other hand didn’t seem to take any note of the 2 guys and she continued talking with Remus and her other friends. 

Truth be told, Lily was extremely happy. She knew, from all the attention she had been getting from the guys back home, and all the oohs and haas she had been hearing from her friends, that something in her had changed. But it wasn’t until a raised eye brow from Remus when he had looked at Lily, did she start to blush and feel really pleased about that change. Remus had smiled sweetly at her and said “Wow, Lily, look what happened to you over Summer!” And after that Lily had neither heard anyone else nor noticed the other guys giving her any looks. That’s probably why she missed James Potter staring at her like he had forgotten how to blink. 

As the feat came to end and the crowd started dispersing, Sirius and James and Peter started walking back to the room. Sirius kept looking back at Remus and Lily who were still deep in conversation. 

“What does he see in her anyway?” Sirius questioned James, after he couldn't take it anymore. James just rolled his eyes. “She isn't even pretty!” He huffed some more. At that James who was also walking with his head and eyes looking backwards at Lily, stopped in his tracks.He gaped at Sirius “You are kidding right?” James finally discovered his voice again. Sirius gave James a dirty look and continued to sulk. 

“Hey Sirius, did you get your Hogsmeade form signed?”Sirius turned around to see Marlene ask the question. Did he get it signed? Well lets see, he had only sat all of summer, wondering how amazing it would be to watch Remus freak out over all the chocolate in the Honeydukes. Remus’s fondness for chocolate was not missed by him. He had seen the boy’s beautiful amber eyes light up every time he was presented with a chocolate. He had noticed Remus feel, not eat the chocolate with every cell his in body. 

So had he got the form signed that would be the ticket to him being able to take in that sight every saturday? Of course, he had the form signed. He had to pretend to be sorry for being a Gryffindor, behave ‘well’ for a week to get his parents to sign. But what did all that mean to Remus? He was busy ogling like everyone else at Lily Evans. 

Sirius was angry and upset. This is not how he envisioned the first day back to go. And he simply stormed out of there, leaving Marlene a little hurt and very confused. James was too full of Lily to notice what had happened. Peter, no one expected any reaction from him, for he always looked either confused about or in awe of the 2 boys. So everyone went their way. 

Remus reached the dorm some 10 minutes after the other 3 themselves had. Sirius was looking furious. He was causing things from his trunks flying everywhere. Peter was terrified. James, however, lay on his bed, stars in his eyes, looking like all he had had for dinner was love potions. This made Sirius more furious making him aim a book from his trunk at James, which somehow missed him and hit a very bemused Remus. 

“Owww…what was that for?” said he, making Sirius rooted in his spot. His heart started to beat a 1000 bps. He was still angry, but he also wanted to turn and look at the owner of that voice that had just spoken. Hug him, stare at him. He willed his heart to slow down as he turned around, as nonchalantly as possible, seeing Remus nursing a tiny bruise on his forehead where the book had hit him. 

He rushed to him and started to fuss over it but Remus shooed away his hand saying it was nothing. “So, how was your summer?”, Remus finally asked him with a wide smile. Sirius was still staring at Remus and his annoyance at how Remus had ignored him in favour of Lily returned. 

“Was alright. yours?” he replied in what he hoped was a cool tone.   
“Yes, the usual. Good, lots of chocolate brownies. Hey James, what’s the matter with you? You look, a bit, errr. disoriented”. Remus spoke more uninhibitingly than Sirius had ever known him to.

And that was enough to melt away all the annoyance. Until, James suddenly got up, no jumped up from the bed and rushed towards Remus. Remus looked alarmed, Sirius just rolled his eyes. Peter was just watching on the scene. 

To say that Peter was a little jealous of Remus wouldn’t be entirely too false or too harsh. Peter who craved to be liked, accepted by the 2 boys in front of him, had worked relentlessly for the last 2 years towards that. Yet, the boys never paid him any attention. Well James did sometimes, but Sirius, hardly ever. But somehow they seemed to bestow more attention to Remus who hardly ever spoke to them or cared about them. Even James had somehow become very fond of Remus and that irked Peter. Not that he had a problem with Remus. Remus was inconsequential to him. But what was it about him that got James’s attention in a way that Peter wanted but could never have? 

James who had come rushing towards Remus like a love sick puppy, hugged Remus. Remus and Sirius both worried that James might lick him. But thankfully he didn’t. Instead he got straight to the point. “Good summer, Re? Say, could you introduce me to Lily Evans?” 

Remus who was looking confused for a second, suddenly grinned at James. “Lily Evans? James, you already know her. Besides, didn’t you at some point refer to her a beet head? And what not? So why this sudden interest?” Remus teased, though he knew the reason for the sudden interest. 

They were all, after all growing up and having the same hormones play the same trick. James had also grown this summer and had infact grown to be the tallest among them. And he was broad and muscular too. He was of course handsome. But the problem with him was that, he knew it. And the other problem was his hair. But that was topic no one liked to discuss, simply because it was pointless. 

Remus feigned innocence and started unpacking. But James was not going to let it rest. He jumped on Remus pressing him by the shoulder down to his knee as he tackled him. “Cmon, Lupin! Don’t be a tease!”

Sirius watched all this, annoyed at the mention of Lily, annoyed at his 2 best friends going gaga over some random girl. Annoyed at this new found connection between Remus and James. Remus laughed at James antics as he said, “Hmm…let me see, if you don’t manage to get detentions in the first 2 weeks here, I might consider it.” 

James considered it, winked at him and said “What say you Sirius?”. Sirius glared angrily at the pair of them and hid himself under the red comforter and pretended to have passed out. 

Remus looked at James, wordlessly enquiring if everything was ok. James nodded a yes and added “Well, everyone is tired, lets hit the bed. Is it going to be like every year, eh, Re, up first and out before the rest of us wake up?”. Remus simply smiled.   
He knew he no longer needed to do that. He no longer needed to avoid the guys. He could go to breakfast with them. But some habits die slowly. So Remus wasn’t sure himself. For now, he was glad to be back. To see Lily, James and Sirius and also Peter. But he couldn’t help the nagging feeling that Peter was not happy. Neither was Sirius. But he pushed the feeling to the back of his head. It was his usual paranoia and this year he wasn’t going to let it mess up with his trust.


End file.
